𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑐𝑒 [𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢/𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜]

Chapter 5 - Completely lost

⚠️ PLEASE READ THE AUTHOR NOTE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER! ⚠️

Yeah I think that I might break

Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

(Breathe me - Sia)

Chapter 5 - 'Completely lost'

Day 27

(Part 2)

"Are you feeling any better?" - Midoriya said sitting next to me on his bed as he handed me a cup of tea. I nodded letting him place the mug in my hands, the heat of the warm drink warming my freezing hands as I kept my gaze on the liquid, knowing already that I wouldn't be able to drink any of it because my stomach was a bunch of knots and I felt drained of all energy.

"Do you want to talk about it?" - he asked as I could feel his gaze on me.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out, I had no idea of what to tell him at this point. I was ashamed to the point that I couldn't bring myself to look up at him. I was confused about everything. How did I end up in his bedroom? Why was I even here? I didn't know but deep down I felt that I was really trying to trust him with that little bit of faith that still lingered inside of me.

He sighed lightly and laid down next to me giving me the chance to turn slightly, just enough to look at him without fully face him.
He laid there with his harms crossed under his head, eyes closed, chest raising and falling slowly with every breath he took, his rosy lips slightly parted. He looked like an angel to me.

"Midoriya..."

He hummed lightly but didn't move at all, nor did he open his eyes to look at me.
There was nothing to hide from him anymore, he saw it all: the ugliness, the anger, the sadness, the weakness. He saw all I was; however, he was still next to me and if he could bear with all of it, even just a tiny bit, I had to entrust myself to him. I had no one else to open up to.

"I'm really tired of everything" - I let out. It didn't explain anything at all, those words together meant nothing; yet they were everything I felt. He didn't say anything, and I got it as a sign that I could keep talking if I wanted to. I felt like he was giving me the opportunity to choose what I was or not comfortable to talk about.

"I wish I didn't have to go back home and see my father ever again. I don't want to come back to school tomorrow or the day after. I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to have these feelings...I just want to disappear so no one has to...I want everything to stop forever" - I whispered the last part keeping my gaze on the full mug in my hands knowing that I was going to regret letting out my deepest thoughts.
The bed moved lightly next to me as Midoriya sat up. I could see it from the corner of my eyes, and it made me anxious knowing he was examining me.

"What do you mean you want everything to stop? You mean dying?" - he asked.

'Yeah, yes I do. I want to die'

"Life is...I just...I don't know..." - I couldn't bring myself to tell him how everyday it seemed to get darker around me, that I was tired of all the abuses and I couldn't see a way out of this hell anymore. I felt extremely lonely and I didn't know how to tell him that I wanted to give up already but wished that someone would care enough to rescue me before it was too late. I didn't know how to say that I was completely lost.

"I see..." - he mumbled. I felt his fingertips brush against the back of my hand and I carefully watched it as I let go of the cup and turned the palm upwards letting him caress my skin. He slightly rose up my sleeve and brushed his finger along my wrist sighing, seeming really relieved somehow.