𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑐𝑒 [𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢/𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜]

Chapter 32- More than you know

I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind.

(Bruises ~ Lewis Capaldi)

~•~

Chapter 32 - More than you know

DAY 357

TODOROKI's POV

Uraraka came back to class a couple days later. Her eyes were puffy and red, and she seemed to have spent the previous days awake and crying. I wish I could say that I felt bad for her but that wasn't the case: if anything, I felt a strange wave of comfort from seeing her go through the same heartbreak I went through. Though there was a huge difference between the two of us: she had him, I didn't.
I'd like to say that it was an obvious act as well, but even if watching her in pain made me feel a bit better, I couldn't say such a lie. No matter how much I hated her and how much shit she threw at me, I knew she was in love with Izuku.
Her eyes always sparkled whenever he was around and she would always blush hard whenever he looked at her; I knew those feelings very well, though I never got the chance to let them out as she did.

Watching her walk into class Friday morning with her head low and sit still at her desk without making any sound or movement was odd. Everyone in class seemed to be bothered by the situation, especially Iida who kept glaring at Midoriya and, from time to time, at me. Whatever was his issue with me, I'd rather have him say it into my face than have him glaring without a single word; especially since I did nothing. It wasn't a big change to me anyway, I barely remembered when it was the last time he bothered to have a word with me.

Lunch breaks had been kinda depressing the previous days.
Midoriya would sit at what used to be his and his friends' table completely alone, while Iida would disappear the whole time and when Uraraka came back that Friday, Iida sat with her a few tables away from Midoriya, leaving him on his own.
I felt bad for him in a way and there had been a moment when I actually thought about walking up to his table and sit with him, though I had no intention of speaking with him. Either way, I couldn't bring myself to be anywhere near him and I just sat with Miyako, Momo and Jirō in silence ignoring their conversations.
I felt bad for Midoriya and I missed him a lot, yet I felt like every time I accidently walked or stood anywhere near him, every scar he left on me would reopen and start to bleed again, making the pain unbearable.

"Stop looking at him...." - Miyako scoffed making my gaze fall back on the meat in my plate immediately.

"I wasn't looking..." - I mumbled poking at the piece of half-eaten chicken. There was no way I was going to finish it, I was barely hungry and the more I stared at Midoriya, the more my stomach would turn into a bunch of knots. Though, to be honest, that was the most food my stomach could held in anyway.

"Shōto it was so obvious that it hurts..." - Momo sighed putting down her chopsticks as she finished eating, making me realize only then that they all had finished their meal except me. That wasn't a surprise to be honest: it happened a lot and whatever I ate was usually just to keep everyone around me from worrying too much anyway.

"It's just...they left him alone..." - I mumbled unsure. I wasn't really sure of what I was supposed to say or how to explain myself.

"Serves him right. At the very last he'll taste his own medicine." - Miyako said gathering her things to leave. I didn't find the strength to speak up, so I just sighed. Even if I wanted him to suffer, I couldn't stand to see it. I couldn't understand why, but maybe it was just because I was still in love with him. Or maybe I was just stupid.

"He did the same thing to you Shōto. I don't think you have to feel bad for him." - Momo said getting up and leaving with Miyako.

I kept quiet letting my chopsticks fall on the tray deciding I wasn't going to eat another bite.
Momo was right and, even though I so badly craved him, he needed to stay out of my life from that moment on and I didn't need to feel bad about it.
He was not good for me, ever since he entered my life, he only brought pain to me. It didn't matter if it was because I fell in love with him or if it was because he treated me like trash: whatever he did, I always ended up in more pain. I should have been glad he was going to feel even just a bit of the pain I went through.
Though I missed how it used to be, how we used to talk until it was too late to go back to our respective room, how he'd held me at night whenever I felt like giving up or how he used to smile up at me.
I felt no different from before, maybe I even felt worse and even if I kept myself away from him and tried to force myself to pretend that I didn't care, I felt the same way I used to feel from the start. I was still in love with him, and it was still hurting like hell.