𝐹𝑖𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝐼𝑐𝑒 [𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢/𝐷𝑒𝑘𝑢𝑇𝑜𝑑𝑜]

Chapter 30 - Absence

I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes
I fall into your arms
I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around

(Someone you loved ~ Lewis Capaldi)

~•~

⚠️DISCLAIMER!⚠️
This part is the continuous of Chapter 29,
and takes place between Chapter 24 and 27.


Chapter 30 - Absence

DAY 300

MIDORIYA's POV

~ Nightmare

"You promised you wouldn't leave..."

"I know...I'm not leaving ever again! I promise I won't leave you alone ever again!"- I said, or at least I tried. My lips moved but I couldn't hear any sound leaving them. I tried to speak louder, I tried to scream but no matter how hard I tried, no sound came out of my mouth.

"This is just another nightmare" - I though, or maybe whispered because he seemed to have heard me.
He smiled but it was one of those sarcastic angry smiles, one of those that could make you shiver.

"It's not, I'm in love with you Izu...I'm in love with you and it only makes me wanna die more" - he said taking a step back with a sick smile still plastered in his face. I tried to move and reach out for him, but my body stood frozen in place; my eyes falling to his shaking hand. A shiver run down my spine as panic started to take control of my body, yet I couldn't move. I couldn't tell if it was real or another nightmare but either way, I needed to stop him.

"You're all I have, you're all I've ever had..." - he smiled through tears before slicing the blade across his arm painfully slow as my legs gave up and my knees hit the floor.

No, no, no, no!

Stop! Stop!

"Look at me, look what you made of me!"
"No one managed to break me but you."
"You killed me..."

~ Present time

I woke up screaming covered in sweat.
It took me a few minutes to realize I was in my own bed and calm down a bit as I set there letting my hands run through my hair and tears run down my face again.

'Another nightmare'

A knock on the door startled me as I let my glance fall onto the alarm on my bedside table: 2.16 AM.
I took a deep breath and after drying my tears-stained cheeks, with a lot of effort, I pushed myself out of bed and walked to the door with shaking legs.

"Are you okay mon amie? I heard you scream..." - Aoyama asked as soon as I opened the door.

"Yeah, just a bad dream. Sorry for waking you up..." - I mumbled resting against the door-frame to keep my balance. I felt like my legs would give out at any moment as my heart hammered in my chest.

'Why can't I calm down?'

'It was just a nightmare...''I should be used to it...'

"Are you sure? You look pale..." - Aoyama asked frowning. I really appreciated his worry but all I wanted in that moment was to be left alone. Looking at his weird silk pajamas usually would have made me smile but this time it didn't. I was too shaken to appreciate his weird taste or smile at his sweet personality. I just wanted to be alone with my own thoughts.
Everyone knew I was the crybaby of the class, they usually made fun of my excessive reactions to the most common things; I had a hard time dealing with my emotions, it took nothing for me to break down and cry, no matter if I was happy or sad.
But just because they knew, it didn't mean that I was willing to let them know I was hurting.
I didn't deserve any kind of sympathy after all, not after what I had done to Shōto.