Gone (Chaennie x Chaehyun) "EDITING"

Chapter 1

Rosé POV

Everything feels so perfect; I have a company that gives me wealth, I have a house, and people who love me, but something is missing. 

Is it my heart?

It is hard to explain but, have you ever tried being soft, kind, and showing love to people? 

But when you dig deeper, you doubt and question what real love feels like. 

Do the softness and lovely look I give means love? Sometimes I care, and sometimes I don't.

Like hooking up with random people, I'm not really like this before. Not before my first love broke my heart. 

I remember trying to save myself for someone I want to be with for the rest of my life. I want my first to be my last.

That is what everyone wants, right? but then that is not what happened.

After we broke up, my heart shattered. I become so lost. I couldn't even recognize myself. I changed so much after I decided to move forward with my life. 

After that, I don't care anymore.

Before, I believe that I should only give myself to the person I'm in a relationship with and I love. But I didn't do relationships and I didn't care about love anymore after my biggest heartbreak. The worst is I barely recognize who I am. I'm always changing, and so do my personality, but I lived and survived. 

Sometimes I'm jolly and a happy person. Sometimes I'm the serious type. Sometimes I feel awkward when I hear dirty words. Sometimes I don't care at all and just be the person I am.

I'm living with the voices talking to me every day, and I can say that they helped me a lot with surviving life. But to tell you honestly, I only made up those voices for me to feel that I'm not alone.

Now I'm having a life, a life where I don't do hookups anymore and continue living it with people who are still there to support me.

~

I woke up looking for my phone to check the time and saw many messages from an unknown number.

I prepared myself because I need to visit someone today, so I tried to call the number that left me many messages that I didn't bother to read. It looks like an emergency, though.

"Hello?" I said as I ride my car back to buy some flowers.

"Ms. Park, It's nice hearing your voice again," the familiar voice of the woman who talked to me ten years ago. The woman who made my life worst. I smiled as I clenched my hands while driving.

"Kim, what do you need from me?" I say to her. "ahm, and I don't want to get involved anymore, so bye,"

"Wait! Rosé, please, Jennie needs you," she shouted, stopping me from ending the call. I already moved on, but for some reason, I still care about my ex, and she's still my friend even if we don't hang out or talk too much anymore.

Don't get me wrong. Jennie is the one who avoided me after the break-up; I can't blame her. I'm so open to her that I keep welcoming her into my life.

I parked my car and breathed deeply. "What is it, Mrs. Kim? How can she need me? It's been years that she treated me like trash and like I didn't exist. Now she needs me? You have to be kidding me, Mrs. Kim, so please," I irritatedly said.

"Please, Rosé, I can't lose my daughter again; she's here in the hospital; let's talk," she said and sent me the address.

I felt my chest become so heavy as I started to breathe heavily. I cried for no reason, and It's been happening to me for years. It is like part of me now. I punched my chest as I hear the voices in my head talking to me.

"Rosie, breathe; I'm here." I feel so crazy having those voices in my head. But I manage to comfort myself.

I envisioned myself kneeling in front of myself, and imagining myself cupping my younger self's face.

"Please help me," I cried.

"Shhh, everything will be fine; I am here for you,"

as soon as the heaviness is gone, I smiled as if nothing happened. It is like another personality took over me. I don't feel pain anymore; instead, I'm fine, I'm happy.

 "now go fucking see your stupid ex,"

"She's not stupid," I laugh

"Whatever," 

I called the person I should visit today and told her that I'll be late because I have some stuff to do.

I drove to the hospital and talked to myself, telling me that I already moved on, so I have nothing to worry about. I get so good at comforting myself when I feel like things are falling apart.

I walked to the hospital and saw Mrs. Kim sitting outside Jennie's room waiting for me. I raised my eyebrow as she looks at me with pain in her eyes, and I'm not too fond of it.

"beat that bitch ass, Rosé,"

"Oh, fuck her to death; she's sexy at her age," 

Oh gosh, that's disgusting.

It's me contemplating this shit in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around her as I felt the tears on my shoulder. I should hate this woman, but I can't. I can't take a grudge against other people because I don't care. I don't want to care.

"Mrs. Kim, Is everything okay? what happened to Jennie?" I gently said as she unwrapped her arms around me on sat down.

"Jennie got into an accident, and as soon as she woke up, she was crying your name. She lost some of her memory, Rosé. She thought she's still 17 years old," Mrs. Kim said and the doctor told us that there is also a possibility that she will never regain her memory again, but they are not losing hope. And I don't also like this.

"She was 18 years old when we broke up." this is so fuck up. Jennie's Mom didn't want to tell Jennie yet, because she was afraid of how I would affect her. I loved Jennie, but I can't pretend that I still love her. I don't have my heart anymore, and she took it away from me.

and broke it.