Your worst fears || The Chronicles Of Narnia

12: I don't regret what I did

Peter sighed in exhaustion as he walked as fast as he could through the woods.

It had probably been around 2 hours since the last vision, but he was still drained and it annoyed him, he'd probably be walking a lot faster if he wasn't so tired.

But he knew he should reach the source of the magic today, and that reassured him a little bit, even though Edmund had said he didn't have much time left.

The fact that Edmund had actually told him to say goodbye broke his heart. Edmund never gave up unless there really was no other option, and this made Peter more scared than he probably even realised.

But just because Edmund had all but given up... that didn't mean he had to... and he wouldn't, no matter what.

So with another tired sigh Peter continued on his way.

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"How is he?" Lucy asked quietly as she eventually joined her sister in Edmund's room later that morning. 

"He's ice cold and I don't know why." Susan whispered in reply from where she was sat on the edge of Edmund's bed, her hand layed gently on his shoulder.

"Do you reckon it's the magic?" Lucy questioned, sitting at the end of the bed with a sigh.

"It could be." Susan said with a nod. "I must say though it scared me at first."

Lucy took a deep breath. "You thought he was gone?" She choked out.

Susan sighed and nodded. "Yeah." She whispered. "I did."

"It scares me that we have no idea how long he's got left." Lucy mumbled, tears filling his eyes.

"It scares me too Lu." Susan sighed. "But just be brave okay? For Edmund's sake."

Lucy nodded slowly. "I can do that." She breathed out, putting on a brave face that made Susan smile a little.

Susan eventually turned back to her brother, running a hand through his hair before feeling his forehead. "He just keeps getting colder." She choked.

Lucy swallowed hard. "Don't forget, he can hear everything we're saying."

Susan sighed sadly and nodded her head, before resting her hand against Edmund's chest, allowing herself to relax a little when she felt his heartbeat... slow, but there.

"You reckon Peter's okay?" Lucy asked after a short while of silence.

Susan hesitated. "I'm sure he's fine Lucy." She answered eventually. "Peter's stronger than he thinks he is, especially when his family's involved, he'll do this, I know he will."

"I'm just scared we'll lose both of them." Lucy whispered.

Susan swallowed hard and shuffled around to join her at the end of the bed, pulling her close and pressing a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "That won't happen Lu." She murmered against her hair. "I swear it won't, we won't lose either of them."

"We don't know that though." Lucy choked out, tears filling her eyes.

"Come on Lu." Susan sighed. "You're usually the optimistic one."

Lucy sighed. "Yeah I know." She mumbled. "Sorry."

Susan gave her a sad smile. "Everything will turn out just the way Aslan wants them to." She reassured her sister.

"I wish he were here." Lucy whispered.

Susan sighed as she tightened her grip around her little sister, placing another kiss to her head as she took a deep breath. "I do too."

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Peter stopped dead when a voice called his name, and he inwardly groaned.

Not again.

He hardly dared turn around, but when the voice called his name again, he swallowed hard.

He knew that voice. But not like that... not anymore anyway.

This voice was usually kind and gentle, mischievous at times too, but now it had a mocking tone to it, and Peter knew that the speaker was smirking.

He hesitated a great deal before he turned around. He knew he should've just kept walking, he knew he shouldn't of looked back... but he just couldn't help it... the magic was getting too strong.

Peter sighed a little when he came face to face with his little brother, of course it would be another worse fear involving Edmund.

Although this wasn't the Edmund Peter knew.

He was stood a few metres away, his sword in his hand and a growing smirk on his face, but it wasn't the mischievous smirk Peter knew so well, this smirk was cold, cruel, and Peter didn't like it one bit.

When Edmund had said he'd see fears he didn't even know he had... he had not been expecting this.

Half of Peter was screaming at him to turn and run, to leave and not look back because it wasn't his brother. But the other half was confused, and terrified of what stood in front of him.

Did he really never change?

What! No, he did.

Did he actually betray us and not regret it.

Stop it! You know he even now still regrets it!

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, taking a deep, shaky breath as he tried his hardest to concentrate on what was real... but it didn't seem to be going too well.

"Peter."

Peter's eyes snapped open when the Edmund in front of him spoke, causing Peter to actually shudder.

"I really don't think you could think any louder." Edmund said.

Usually, since Narnia that is, it would be with a laugh and a playfully punch on the shoulder, but all he did was stare at him, voice rid of any humour whatsoever.

"You are right you know." Edmund continued. "I don't regret what I did."

Peter took a deep breath, his heart skipping a beat and tears threatening to fall.

"You never once showed that you cared about me," Edmund continued. "So why should I care about you?"

Guilt hit Peter like a ton of bricks... he'd done this, it was his fault his brother was like this.

Peter frowned.

But it's not real

"You never loved me Peter, you never hugged me like you hugged Lucy, never helped me like you helped Susan, and I'm done with it, I don't need your love anyway."

Peter swallowed hard, tears now streaming down his cheeks, but not a sound escaped him.

It's not real!

...Or is it?

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