Your worst fears || The Chronicles Of Narnia

13: I hate you

Peter's heart pounded in his chest as he stood and waited for Edmund to continue, although part of him knew he should just run, he couldn't move.

"If you had loved me, perhaps I wouldn't be like this." Edmund said, the smirk still spread across his face. "And you know that. If you had shown me you cared, maybe I wouldn't of sold you all out to the witch and joined her side, you know that, don't you Peter?"

Peter had to try his hardest to contain a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut.

Edmund really was gone.

He'd sided with the witch.

All because of Peter.

But it's not real and you know that! Deep down you know.

"Say it Peter." Edmund said, a scowl spread across his face. "Say it's your fault that I ended up this way, say it now."

Peter choked on the tears he was holding back. "It's my fault." He whispered, not even realising he'd opened his mouth. "It's my fault and I'm sorry, I should've shown you I cared, I'm really, really sorry Ed."

"It's much too late for that now." Edmund spat. "And don't call me that either."

Peter once again squeezed his eyes shut, but after a minute or two he frowned.

He hesitantly opened his eyes and looked around, shocked to see no Edmund... no anybody.

That is until a scream reached his ears.

Spinning around he once again spotted his brother, who was stood a short distance away.

He looked like he'd just woken from a nightmare, eyes wide, forehead sweaty and trembling so, so hard.

Peter nearly ran to him, but Edmund beat him too it.

Peter was half expecting Edmund to try and hug him, but he was utterly shocked when he was pushed hard against a nearby tree.

"I hate you!" Edmund screamed.

Those words alone caused Peter's heart to shatter. "Ed." He choked. "What-"

"This is all your fault!" Edmund cried, tears streaming down his cheeks as he shook so hard Peter wouldn't be surprised if he made himself sick.

"What's my fault?" Peter practically whispered, the bark of the tree digging into his back.

"You should've loved me the way you loved the girls!" Edmund shouted, causing Peter to flinch. "Then I never would've gone to the witch and been tortured within an inch of my life. I wouldn't be waking up every night screaming from nightmares, I wouldn't be traumatised over what happened. If you had shown me you cared, Jadis never would've hurt me! It's all your fault Peter! It's not mine! You never showed me you loved me, you put me down and treated me like a child, you acted like dad, it's no surprise I went to the witch! But she lied to me and tortured me, but that never would've happened if I just felt loved!"

That's when Peter snapped... Edmund would never say something like that.

"IN THE NAME OF ASLAN GO AWAY!" He screamed, and found himself collapsing to the floor only a second later, gasping in fear and exhaustion.

"Edmund" was gone, he was alone, he'd defeated the magic once again, and whilst he knew this wasn't over, it still made him feel relieved.

He could hardly catch his breath as he sat there, but he tried his hardest to. He could not under any circumstance pass out, he was only a few hours away from the source of the magic and he had to get there as soon as humanly possible, or Edmund would die.

Why? Edmund hates you, he said so himself.

Peter shook the voice from his head and took a deep breath. "No." He snapped under his breath. "No he doesn't, it was all a trick. Edmund loves you, he's said so many times before. What happened just now wasn't real."

Once he'd managed to half convince himself and catch his breath again, he slowly stood up, running a hand through his tangled hair with a sigh.

The magic really knew his deepest fears.

Edmund blaming him for everything that happened was one of the fears Peter could hardly handle. In his eyes it was true, but at the same time, the thought of Edmund thinking that broke his heart.

But deep down he knew Edmund loved him, and that was all he needed to carry on.

Edmund was his brother. He would never come out with something like that, not if Peter knew him.

Besides, even if Edmund did think that, he had a habit of keeping his thoughts to himself, his emotions to himself, mostly to the frustration of his siblings.

But he'd had a nightmare. He was so scared as so angry that he snapped. His thoughts finally came to the surface. He hates you Peter, hates you with a passion.

Peter wished the voice would just leave him be, because he didn't know how much longer he could fight it. It was exhausting him big time, and he had to fight to keep his eyes open so he could continue walking.

He couldn't stop to rest, he had absolutely no time.

Sighing a little he took the map from his bag and stared at it for a very long time.

Once he was pretty sure he was going in the right direction he placed it back in his bag and glanced ahead.

He knew this wasn't over, he knew he'd have more visions, he was just scared of what those visions would include.

He couldn't think of any other worse fears he had that included Edmund, he'd already seen him die, seen him evil, seen him blame him for what happened, heard him scream that he hated him.

But that doesn't mean the visions couldn't repeat themselves... but just a lot worse.

And this scared Peter more than even he knew.

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