Who Knew? // 5SOS [ #Wattys 2015 ]

Chapter 37

Ashton paid for our meal and we were out of the restaurant before you could even say "goodbye."

We were back at the hotel, Michael's computer set up on the desk and we were fucking scrolling through porn hub looking for the video.

"Oh and that's a dick, okay goodbye," I walked away from the computer screen. They continued searching as I looked up on my phone "Luke Hemmings raping Lauren Jetson." Thank god nothing showed up that had anything to do with us.

"Lauren we found it," Michael waved me over. I slowly walked towards the computer and looked at the views. Only thirty-eight views thankfully. There were no comments on it.

"Thank The Lord it hasn't gone viral yet," Luke sighed and sunk into his seat.

"Okay now turn off the video, please!" I covered my eyes as Luke was pulling off my shorts. I heard a few clicks and soon the horrid video was off the screen.

"I'm going to take a bath," I said as I stood up and grabbed some random shorts, underwear, and sports bra.

"Cal?" I looked at him as he looked up from his phone, "Can I wear a shirt of yours?" I asked him. He nodded and grabbed a random white tank top and handed it to me. I nodded a thanks and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I started the water, plugging the bathtub and started to undress.

When I was just in my underwear and bra I stood in front of the mirror and stared at myself. Could I actually be considered a slut for my earlier actions with the boys because I wanted it as much as them even though I was scared? What if she knew that I did it with all of them? Was she the one taking the video!? She couldn't be. That's crazy. We're in the USA and when that happened we were in Australia. She also had a thick American accent. She couldn't travel across the world just for that.

I realized I was standing there for a while poking and prying at my thoughts and body.

"Shit!" I said quickly before shutting off the water. The bath was almost all the way full so I let some water drain. I pulled my bra and underwear off and slowly sunk into the bath.

I grabbed my phone and went on to Twitter. Today is just not my day. It seemed like my feed was only filled with hate. They were calling me names, starting terrible rumors, and just making me look like a fool.

By the time I locked my phone and put it on the floor outside of the bath, warm, salty tears were traveling down my face. I glanced around the bathroom and spotted my razor.

It wouldn't be bad if I just let out my demons once more. Just one more time. Just for old times sake.

My brain agreed with everything I was thinking and before I knew it I was out of the bath, grabbing the razor. My feet brought me back to the bath and soon I was back in there, cap off the razor. I slowly opened my legs up, running my thumb across the inside of my thigh, where I planned on leaving marks. I placed my razor on my leg and pressed down gently, closing my eyes and preparing for regrets later.

Right before I sliced my leg open there was a knock on the door. I opened my eyes, looked at the door, and pulled the razor off my skin.

"El, I have to pee so can I, like, come in and go?" Ashton asked through the door. I put my razor down on the side of the bath and closed the curtain so he couldn't see me and I couldn't see him.

"Yeah," my unintentional weak voice sounded. I heard the door open and him do his business. After the sink was turned off I thought Ashton would've left but he didn't.

"You alright Lauren?" He asked me, his tone serious.

"Mhm," I shortly answered. I didn't feel like having my voice betray me when I actually answered.