some of us cannot wait to be longhaulers. i think i deny that i am one of them. the plague ruined the biodiversity of my attitude and has left its land ripe for introversion to completely grow over it. perhaps this makes me resilient, which will serve me well if our infrastructure ever collapses, God forbid. but perhaps this makes me subservient: surveillance capitalism's model user, doomscrolling and techno-isolated. regardless, i'm alone, but when i'm not, i don't know how i'll deal with it. perhaps i've grown to like it. the plague enflamed derision, which made it worse. it probably won't remap our cities the same way plagues before have, but it has remapped how the people living there interact with each other. everyone agrees on that. my instinct with anything is to cross over into the unfamiliar, to belong to no one, but i don't know how i can now. the rugged individualists have turned me ruggedly individualistic. the Anthroprocene has enabled the cancer that makes it next to impossible to deal with it. maybe there was never any way out of this to begin with.
