I feel really disappointed in myself and I feel better about myself if I keep admitting that. I make the same mistakes over and over again and I don't know what to do about it. I don't know who to go to about it, assuming I can go to anyone at all. Maybe I'm just lazy, but I feel like it's more than that. At least I want to believe it's more than that. I'm tired of feeling like I'm beginning all the time. I don't know if I really want to change, but I hope I actually do. I feel like something has to change now. Maybe this has to happen.
I know this comes down to me fucking knowingly pushing off a shitload of coursework until the very last second, but I kind of feel like it has unearthed some very real anxieties I never seem to not have.
(This is not your only post for the week)
