I'm sitting at a table watching these kids LARP. Not 'LARP' as in slang for being performative, but LARP as in the Games Club are live-action roleplaying. Always makes me feel better to see shit like this out in the wild. I'm not crazy about Funko Pops, but I highly respect their sincerity.
Volunteered at the college today. Was kind of a shitshow. I kept bumping into people I haven't seen since before the Plague, like my cousin and a buddy from high school. Had to cut those encounters short because I was running uncomfortably late for my liking despite arriving to the function early. I couldn't find the part of the campus it was held at, blah blah blah. It was a whole thing. I figured it out. I just hate being late.
I felt a major case of imposter syndrome there, which isn't normal for me. I never feel in my element, so I never feel out of it. I always think of this Ice Cube lyric to hype me up going into somewhere I'm unfamiliar with:
"Don't be scared of them people
Walk up in there and show them that you equal (fuck them, fuck them)"
Still felt obnoxiously underprepared. I tried making myself as useful as possible. I didn't let up, but I wondered if that was enough. That's all I could do I bet.
Just photobombed the Games Club.
One of my college friends was weirdly attractive today. They just looked nice. They were working the stands while I helped with the tours. They tried popping a West Side to me (my signature greeting), but couldn't pull it off. Wanted to hang out with them but they left early. I would use one of my dumbass pseudonyms for them but I don't want it to be tracked back to me. Or something, I don't know. I don't care. I care.
Saw my cousin. That was cool.
I really feel the weight of the next few weeks. I'm loaded with shit to do. Half of it is my fault, but there's no use complaining about it. Just gotta do it. Here's hoping my grades are maintained.
Keep having dreams where my friends ignore me because they suddenly find me boring, only to then radically change gears to David Foster Wallace puking and fucking Jonathan Franzen or Satan setting a Aztec pyramid designed my contemporary scientists aflame.
-
I love you, dude.
