The Scout, Part 1
on August 8th, 2019, me, M--, and A----n went to Drumheller for the day. we were in search of ghost towns. our trip down there today was an ode to that trip because i think of it as a marker between two different eras. not so much a turning point or a send-off to either, but one day where we hit a lot of the same notes that we would have if it was that definitive.
we left without really telling our parents. generally, we didn't have to. we were still in high school. it was the last month before we went off to grade 12, which loomed over us the entire trip. most of what we talked about sort of revolved around that. of course, it was divided by talk of drugs and dumb shit and sex (which in retrospect, knowing what A----- was probably referring to, batters those conversations in thick dark situational irony. you probably know what i'm talking about, but it's beside the point for now). the prairies seemed like an ocean that day. they always do, really. their hills move along highways like large waves that sink the always open horizon, my piece of shit 1995 Jeep Cherokee piercing in and around them like a ship whose sailors didn't know what they were doing. for the thousandth time, the sky is big out here and prairies never let you forget that, especially on a hot and clear summer day. the music on the trip was great, too. M-- worked the aux for the most part, playing Fortunate Son and other songs to make us laugh, but i whipped up a playlist the night before called "The Scout" (hence the title of the post). it was really thrown together - especially towards the end - but because of that playlist, Silver Jews has forever ingrained itself in where i live. they're somber and sometimes slow, but always thoughtful and comforting. on the road, that was perfect.
i wore that trenchcoat i always used to wear (which was a nightmare in the summer heat). M-- brought his aviators like he always does. A----- looked impromptu because he more or less invited himself. we felt the day, i would say we looked like we did, too. we were looking for ghost towns, specifically one i forget the name of. M-- knew about it, so i forgot about it while he told me where to go. we never actually made it to wherever we were going. i decided to call it in early after my parents found out where i was. they called me at an ice cream shop, the first place we visited once we got into town. i never really told them which they weren't happy about. also, the Cherokee was a piece of shit, so i risked breaking down in the middle of nowhere, which none of us seemed to pay any mind to. we had the spirit, man! i didn't want to leave, but being instilled with the idea i drove a shitbox out to the desert made me paranoid. i know that was stupid because i was so late to the draw, but do you expect anything else from me? the drive back was more somber than the drive there, given that i axed the point of the trip, but we were all first and foremost just happy to all be hanging out nonstop for a full day. i did not kill the vibe, but i was getting down, anyway. it was the botched trip, yes, but returning home meant returning to the shit i was worried about. it meant that for everyone else. we ignored that for as long as we could until we couldn't. our last conversation on the road began with A----- saying "i don't want to go to grade 12". the trees on that last stretch of road to the main highway back to the city felt like clouds then the road up until then is open prairie, but small forests around the farms close in on you going and just leaving home. that closing in felt prescient for the feeling of the Cherokee in that hour. it loomed, but at least we all felt it together.
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The Scout, Part 2
M-- and i went to Drumheller today on a whim. this time, my mom suggested i do it because she thinks i should start to get out of the house more after a year inside. that was the goal this time, for me to get outside. we had no plans beyond that. our ghost towns were now ghosts themselves in some trivial way. unlike the first time we went, i was the opposite of diligent and was late by like 2 hours after i first promised i'd meet up with him, but getting on the road wasn't a hassle. the whole thing wasn't a hassle. we just hung out. we were surprised we felt we had so little to talk about even with the hours allotted to us cooped up in a car, so we just fucked around and talked about Necromunda: Hired Gun and listened to Neil Cicierega - Mouth Dreams. fucking around feels weighted nowadays even with a year behind us of unmitigated fucking around, but it was nice to do it simply without the threat of danger behind it all. we just hung out, with the same prairie around us, but feeling bigger this time. the whole country feels bigger now.
