E. (Yes, I Have Considered the Lillies)
She's very guarded, but not in the way that most niche internet people are. She comes at me in a very "here, dork" begrudged-ness: kind of irked and cynical, but it's all very tongue-in-cheek. That way she doesn't fry her words in post-ironic bullshit, so she ultimately seems vulnerable, which has to be her intention. I barely know her, but her way of speaking to me resembles how I see the rest of her, being that she seems to have to fly low but she is far from being indirect if you know her. Those who do know her know that she is very lonely and absolutely resents that. I can't think of any friends she has outside of the internet. I barely know what she does outside of the internet. She's at the front door of her 20s (if she isn't already 20), and is floating through a particularly grinding course of post-high school NEET ennui, which her isolation fattens up more than she would like it, assuming it's a phase anyone could ever grow to like. She seems to want love more than anything, and as a stranger, I hope she finds it for her own sake.
M. (Reps That Midwest)
He's incredibly funny and friendly. I don't know why everyone isn't friends with him. I'd imagine that in real life he'd be aloof but not be unapproachable. I guess he's already like that on the internet. He's goofball and perhaps a shitlord, but not unkind. He's in it for the right reasons. He is for other people and for their good, even if he may not seem active in believing that. I think it's interesting and kind of admirable how he's not just unambitious, but instead, intently anti-ambition. He may be incapable of having illusions of grandeur about himself or the world, or maybe I can't understand that most people don't secretly think of themselves as the special-est of snowflakes. Regardless, he's not shooting past what is. I like people like him, people who are only here for what is. The world is better off for their strict materialism.
N. (Your Life Will Surely Change, Fragile Brian Molko)
I feel a little guilty for losing touch with her, but that shit just happens. I can't really blame anyone for it. We were very close when she smack dead center in a squall of some pretty serious psychic shit, but she seems to have largely made it out of since she moved to Stockholm. I'm happy she finally made it there. When we talked, she would always tell me how great it is whenever she went. She hailed every trip as utopic. Everyone there was so cool and interesting. They seemed good to her, too. She revelled the city itself. It fit her more than anywhere in Italy, she never was very happy in Bologna either. It's so nice to see everything come full circle, even if we're almost strangers by now. But there are some sad exceptions to her golden age here and there, which is the worst thing about it. I don't think she'll ever really make it out of the storm, I know she doesn't either. I don't think any of us ever really will. That's just the way it has to go.
R. (How Does One Eat 'Noddemix'?)
They were on alien wavelength when I met them, so of course, I stayed for that. I staunchly, fucking intransigently believe that if it shows that you're having a good time, that good time will spread to everyone around you. Magic happens when that's how you meet a friend. They called me one night out of nowhere. We'd been mutuals for a while but only talked once before, about doing something with a bunch of other people for another mutual. Nothing that already meant a practice of getting to know each other, but that did not stop them from starting one in hysteria. I actually thought they were on some kind of amphetamine (I later learned they have ADHD). It was kind of intimidating, but that's never stopped me before. I was quiet, they were not, but I eventually got my toes wet. They were out-of-my-league-cool, but I have never acknowledged leagues anyway. We grew to hang out a lot and habitually for a number of months. We talked about anything, At the time, their playlists were absolutely second to none, most notably Peepeehead Rules and Fuckhead Cools. That shit blew my God damn mind. I had heard of some of the bands on them, but they pulled the best of it from places I would have never even known to look and arranged them in such an order that the whole thing was revelatory cool ass shit. If they were mixtapes, I would have worn them out by now. They were cool to me, and I hope I was good to them. Life has since happened, and we've drifted apart, which our difference in wavelengths definitely didn't help. I hope our new ennui doesn't rough them up too bad. They've already been through way too much.
T. (Brothers in Arms)
A genuine streetwalking cheetah with a heart full of napalm. He seems to have been on the verge of exploding since kindergarten, even though I only met him in high school. He described himself to me as the kind of kid that made schools put in sensory rooms, the type to hit the teachers. You can make the case that he has since mellowed out, behaviour-wise at least. But if you knew him, you'd know that his anger has just evolved into thoughts. However, he would not describe himself as a true spastic, and nor would I, though the reason we started hanging out was us both leaning into that. He really gives a shit about things, which is why he's angry. He has a sense of right, wrong, and dignity, and he will absolutely never let up on any one of them. All of that is, in my opinion, good things to be as a person, but sometimes I think he's a little arrogant, but I think that's a byproduct of him being super energetic. If he ever read this, I would want him to know that I think he's a good, cool person. I just wish he'd be given a chance to calm down, because like I said before, he has good reasons to be angry. He has never been given a break.
