Treasure From The Stars

Chapter 16

"Manager Hani?" I peeked into the room.

"Oh, Yumi. Yes, come sit down."

I walked in, closing the door behind me. I sat down in the empty seat, across from Manager Hani. I sucked in my breath, awaiting to see how I did.

"You did good, Yumi. I don't think I can really say much about your singing and dancing." She looked over my file. "Your weight is a bit on the line, don't you think?"

I nodded.

"Now what I think we do need to talk about is your language performance. You're taking Japanese... And you're also taking extra English? I thought you were taking English at your school?"

"I am. I just need some extra help."

She nodded, agreeing with me. "It seems that you're lacking in Japanese too. I was wondering if you were up for some personal lessons privately with a teacher?"

I bit the inside of my cheek.

"Language is important these days when it comes to interacting with the audience and fans in Kpop," Manager Hani added, noticing my hesitation.

My eyes avoided hers. I just nodded, "That sounds okay."

"Great, we'll let Teacher Akira know."

In my lap, away from Manager Hani's view, I curled my hands into fists. Squishing the tension somewhere else. I felt my nails scratch into my palms, but I knew that it was nothing new.

"Also," she looked up from the papers. "Are you-"

"Hani-ah," Nam PD-nim opened the door and walked in. "Oh, I'm sorry Yumi."

"It's alright," I answered.

"Is there something you need?" Manager Hani asked her boss.

I felt his gaze move onto my hands. I quickly shoved them into my jacket's pockets and looked away.

"Well, yes. But I can talk to you later, you should finish the evaluation counsellings." And he left.

"Do you have any more questions?"

I shook my head, "I'm good. Thank you."

"Please tell Remi to come see me next."

I bowed to her and walked out, heading to our dorm. On my way I checked my palms, they were bloodied just a bit. I sighed at the sight, not being able to believe that my old habit was back.

As I arrived at the dorm, I hastily told Remi to go to her counselling before rushing into the bathroom.

I saw Hyeji and Joori give me questionable looks, but I ignored them and locked the bathroom door after me.

I stared at my palms, trying to calculate how my habits came back. I couldn't find an answer. "Whatever," I muttered, turning on the faucet. I washed my hands together and the soap stung my cuts, but I didn't care less.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Hyeji and Joori looked at me with concerned looks. "What?" I asked.

"Is everything alright?" I never saw Hyeji with such serious eyes.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't it be?"

"You didn't cry in the bathroom, right?"

I broke out into a chuckle, knowing why they were concerned. It was found that many trainees cried after their conversation with Manager Hani about their weaknesses. "No, it's nothing like that. I just had to wash something off my hands. That's it."

Joori let out a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness."

Then I heard a distant sound of sobbing. "Do you guys hear that too?" I whispered.

They seemed confused at first, but soon they understood what I was talking about. Joori leaned in, "Minju's just upset. I guess she didn't have such a great talk with Manager Hani."

"Are you guys hungry? It's about dinner time now, right?" I asked.

Hyeji and Joori hungrily nodded. "Very hungry!" they yelled.

✩☽☆☾✩

"Kon'nichiwa... Yumi-desu. Wa-ta-sh-shi wa 16-sai-desu ," I struggled pronouncing the words. I bit my lip, already knowing the feedback Teacher Akira was getting ready to give me.

"You're there somewhat. Just make sure you slowly and smoothly pronounce it: Konnichiwa. Watashi wa 16-sai desu."

"Wa-t-ta-sh-shi- Ugh." I put my head in my hands, frustrated and stressed. I had been getting these private lessons once a week along with the group lessons every two weeks for the past six months. I wasn't getting anywhere.

Teacher Akira pursed her lips, thinking how to react. "I know it's frustrating-"

"I'm sorry, but I think I had enough for today," I stood up. Gathering all my books, I walked out of the classroom. I checked my watch, which read the time as 11:24 PM.

I didn't want to head to the dorm quite yet, so I walked over to the garden area. I sat on a nearby bench looking up at the stars. It had been a while since I saw them. I thought back to my room in my parent's house and I wondered how they were doing.

I felt something liquidy in my hands, so I looked down to see some blood in my palms. I dug for a handkerchief in my bag and once I found one, I wiped and cleaned all the blood.

Letting out a sigh, I ran my hand through my hair. Stress was always growing on me.

All the stress actually helped me lose a few kilograms, which was now perfectly under the weight requirement. However, that stress made it hard to digest and I found myself skipping most of my meals throughout the day. I didn't have all the probiotics, vitamins, and protein I needed as a person, and I grew weary and tired. I was living off of prescriptions for the nutritions my body needed, but even those drugs didn't help me withstand most of the day.

My habit of cutting through my skin worsened everyday, causing myself to worry.

My English was stable, but I wasn't achieving or learning more Japanese. I was dragging myself downwards with it.

"What are you doing out here in the cold?"

My eyes were closed and I couldn't recognize the voice. All I knew was that they were sitting right next to me. "It isn't cold actually. It's a humid night in the middle of July."

"What are you thinking so deeply about?"

I fluttered my eyes open and looked to see who was accompanying me; Minjun. "Oh, it's you."

"Yup, it's me."

I took a deep breath in and exhaled it all out.

"So what's on your mind?"

"I thought OceanGold was strict about girl trainees and boy trainees interacting," I said, guiding away from the subject of my problems.

"Eh, somewhat," he shrugged. "You aren't gonna tell me what's wrong? You know telling someone usually helps the stress decrease."

"Like you said, usually. It's not for everyone and not every time," I coldly talked back. I stared ahead of me, seeing the reflection of the moon in the water-filled, yet non-working fountain.

"Mimi-ah."

My ears sprang up and I quickly turned to him, surprised. "How do you know my childhood nickname?"

He sighed and pouted, "You don't remember me?"

"What are you talking about? We met that day when I first auditioned."

"No we didn't."

I stared at him, weirdly.

"You really don't remember?"

I just stayed still.

"It's me, MJ."

I couldn't believe it.