Chéri || Fred Weasley

lxi

"-Only time I've ever seen dad as angry as mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since," Ron said as he and Harry continued to peel sprouts.

"Yeah, well, passing over Fred's left buttock-" said Harry but was cut short when the twins and Madeleine entered the burrow's kitchen.

"I beg your pardon?" Fred turned around to see the two other boys.

"I was just telling Harry about the time you two tried to get me to make an Unbreakable Vow when I was five," Ron shrugged.

"That was fun 'cause it wasn't my arse that got whipped," George laughed.

"Well, his left buttock is actually a bit more flat than the right one," Madeleine joked.

"Oi! That's not true you little-"

"I'm only joking, your ass is absolutely perfect," she grinned and playfully spanked his butt.

"You two make me sick," Harry revolted.

"Aaah, George, look at this. They're using knives and everything. Bless them," Fred made fun of Harry and Ron who were struggling to peel the sprouts.

"I'll be seventeen in two and a bit month's time," Ron said grumpily, "and then I'll be able to do it by magic!"

"But meanwhile," George said sitting down at the kitchen table and putting his feet up on it, "we can enjoy watching you demonstrate the correct use of a — whoops-a-daisy!"

"You made me do that!" Ron said angrily sucking his cut thumb. "You wait when I'm seventeen-"

"I'm sure you'll dazzle us all with hitherto unsuspected magical skills," Fred yawned and threw his arm around Madeleine's shoulders.

"And speaking of hitherto unsuspected skills, Ronald," said George, "what is this we hear from Ginny and Clo about you and a young lady called - unless our information in faulty - Lavender Brown?"

"Mind your own business," Ron mumbled and turned a little pink.

"Shut up, you've been getting action lately haven't you?" Madeleine gasped.

"What a snappy retort may I add, Ronnikins," said Fred. "I really don't know how you think of them. No, what we wanted to was...how did it happen?"

"What do you mean?" Ron asked.

"Did she have an accident or something?" said Fred.

"What?"

"Well, how did she sustain such extensive brain damage? Careful, now!" Fred laughed as Mrs Weasley entered the room just in time to see Ron throw the sprout knife at him, who simply turned it into a paper airplane with one lazy flick of his wand.

"Ron!" said the redhead matriarch furiously. "Don't you ever let me see you throwing knives again!"

"I won't," said Ron, "let you see," he added under his breath.

"You could have hit Mads you prat and if that would have happened, I would have to kill you. And have in mind that I wouldn't even leave a trace that it was me," Fred smirked devilishly.

"You can get so aggressive at times," Maddie chuckled.

"You like it that way, or did I sense otherwise two nights ago?" he whispered in her ear making her breath hitch at the memory of her wrists tied behind her back as he spanked her with his belt.

"Fred, George, I'm sorry dears, but Remus and Sirius are arriving tonight, so Bill will have to squeeze in with you two," Mrs Weasley said.

"No problem mum," said George.