(January 1, 2020)
we listening to jack stauber and shitting rn
ben was standing in hell looking at a picture of the mona lisa
"haha oh man i hope **kira** doesnt find me"" he looked aroudn cautiously
it went dead silent
"buh" a voice whispered in his ear and bEN JUMPED
he turned around and saw JEGG THE KILLER
"JEGG THE KILLER?"
JEGG THE KILLER smiled
"im here for your pickel"
ben HOWLED "LEAVE ME ALONE"
"remember when you were gay for me"
"nah bruh new phone who dis"
"we in person mf" JEGG THE KILLER pulld out his dick!!!!!! jk it was a knife
"PUT THE DIET DR KELP IN THE BAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" JEGG THE KILLER STABBED BEN WITH A KNIFE
"[moan sound] JOKES ON YOU NOW IM HORNY."
"what the fcuk" JEGG THE KILLER pulled the knife out and back aware slowly but iT DID NO GOOD- ben was approaching him
"YOURE APPROACHING ME!?!?!"
"i cant beat the shit outta you without getting closer" bens voice VIBRATED THE WHOLE ROOM
before anyone could breathe, pip rose out of the ground
"MY COOCHIE ITCHY" they groaned
JEGG shoved them back into the ground "who asked"
"BEN WE HAVE A PROBLEM BIGGER THAN JEGG." pip caught their breath "ITS BIGMEATYCLAWS. GET THE GUCCI BACKPACK. MEET ME AT PURGATORY!!!!!!"
ben said "OK"
the elevator dinged
"ok pip was is it. what did dad do now?" ben crossed his arms
before pip could say anything, a HUGE ASS CLAW grabbed both of them together and pulled them into the purgatory maze
"PIP THATS NOT WHAT I TOLD YOU TO BRING" BMC dropped them in front of him
"im not bringing roman catholic devotees so that you can tentacle fuck and corrupt them" pip was mad blushing!!! this shit made them uncomfortable
ben rolled his eyes "dad i thought we talked about your tentacle fetish"
"well now that i have your blessing. bye bitch" BMC did 50 peace signs and faded away
"where is he going" pip was biting NAILS
ben pulled his hand away "stop doing that!!!!!!! also we can call jonghyun to get our asses to wherever he is."
"you right.
ben pulled out the gucci backpack and then pulled out the bible 2 and opened it and called jonghyun and he answered.
"hm?" jonghyun raised his eyebrows
"DAD'S FUCKING THE CATHOLICS AGAIN" ben groaned loudly
"oh worm" jonghyun snapped his fingers and they appeared in this really weird like,, high school office but jonghyun was sitting in a large chair. "whats going on?" he tilted his head back, looking between the two
pip piped up, "uh BIGMEATYCLAWS out here in heaven trying to hit on roman catholics. we were taking a walk but then he went nutty and horngy. he wanted to fuck ME but im asexual as YOU ALL KNOW BECAUSE I REMIND PEOPLE TOO MUCH. so like... yeah"
