(December 25, 2018)
never forget my broski chen
just as a breif recap; pip waks up on chrismtas morning, finds cbx in her brothers bedroom, gets possessed by xiumin and then BIGMEATYCLAWS, the kitchen collapses in on everyone, pip wakes up in her bed, pip visits jared in hell
🔪🔪
"jARED I NEED YRUO HELP." pip cries part 30000000000000000000. jared sits up really annoyed because its 6 AM.
"what do you want now" he yawns.
"CHEN HATES ME" pip screecHES.
"yeah you cheated on him with kai dumbass"
"HELL NO I JUST SAID HE LOOKED KINDA CUTE I DIDNT MEAN HTAT I-"
jared got up. "i can hel p you get him back bro. theres this thing in hell coming up. its got some latin name but i call it crackhead prom" pip looked at him confused.
"THATS BOOTLEG IT WONT WORK WHY WOULD CHEN BE IN HELL" jared squinted.
"uhhhhhhhhhBIGMEATYCLAWS is his brother??????????????????????? and its christmas ???????????????????????????" pip nodded slightly less confused. "its tonight so you better mcfucking get ready its fashion montage time"
first jared got dressed in his epic gamer noriaki kakyoin cosplay to go to crackhead prom wiht jotaro kujo probably. he kept doing these uwu poses and sending them to jotaro. pip stood there.
"you got games on your phone"
jared recoiled awya.
"HELL NO GO GET READY...........PLEase"
pip gave a thumbs up.
she went into the huge ass closet which was mostly full of bootleg merch. she looked around and shE SAW IT. CHEN'S LOVE ME RIGHT JERSEY OH MY GOD SHE REALLY WANTED THIS. she didnt really care what size it was or naything she just put it on bruh. she saw this epic pair of bright neon green leggings. oh hell yeah. there was also this pair of light up skechers that didnt go wiht anything else. but this outfit wouldnt be complete with......................... an epic gamer scarf. no lisa lisa kin of ours is seen without the hamon scarf™. it was just like lisa lisa's. pip wept tears of joy. she looked like hell's greatest fashion disaster. it was epic.
she walked out of the closet and did rohan's pose. ok this is getting out of hand. jared could tell.
but did jared care? hell no. no one cared about crackhead prom except the whores that cant get with anyone. hahaha im talking about you, person irl. anyways. they teleported away.
now they're at crackhead prom. everyone from fever dream lore was here and more. pip looked around anxiously for chen. jared walked straight over to jotaro and pip quietly followed until she saw something. there was this stage on the far side of the place. muse was perfoRMING AND PIP SQUEALED LIKE A DOG BEING BURNED ALIVE BY AN EVIL, HOMICIDAL STEP-BROTHER. they were performing songs from showbiz and pip went all the way leaky eye. after the last song, they were kicked off stage. and then eXO WAS HERE.
THEY STARTED WITH LOVE SHOT AND EVERYONE LOST IT. kai was there and he saw pip. oh fuck not this again. pip went leaky eye x3298357342039. kai held out his hand and brought pip up on stage. he was the dancing king so everyone was scREAMING the whole damn time. chen was there and he was ANGYR. no one had ever seen chen this mad EVER. but he was a good uwu so he didnt do anything mean.
after the exo performance pip got off the stage. she went to the punch bowl and got like 15 cups for herself becuase shes a dickhead. "bruh i really wish they had lasanga" she took a sip of the punch.
"hey i-"
"ORA"
pip turned to whoever she just punched. the person staggered backwards.
"OW FUCK"
"sorry it be like that when you drink punch" she did jonathans pose. the MAN stoo d up. it was CEHN!?!?!? PIP HOWLED. "OH MY GOD CHEN I DIDNT MEAN IT"
chen went: "BOI I SWAER TO JONGHYUN IF YO U DOTN STOP FUCKING THINGS U[ WE COUDL ACTUALLY GET SHIT DONE AROUND HERE BRUH" pip went leaky eye. she hugged chen because uwu hours.
chen pushed her away.
"well I got a restrainign order. you cant be near me for the next motnh" he smiled innocently. pip fell to her knees and began sobbing in the middle of the dance floor. no one really paid attenton.
"i cNA CHANGE ILL TELL BIGMEATYCLAWS TO SEND KAI TO THE 88TH LAYER OF HELL AND ITLL BE GUCCI GOLDEN WIND RIGHT" she did hopeless finger guns.
"no pip th isis serious im osrry but ckme bac k when i feel like talking to you" chen threw up a peace sign and disappeared in thin air. probably back to south korea ill be real i think it is his turn to watch,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you already KNOW WHO.
just then everything changed to black and white.
fucking now what oh my go-
count fucking lucio stood on the stage. "BTCHES THOUGHT YOUDSEEN THE LAST OF ME" everyone began throwing tomatoes at him because fuck goat dad. actually dont fuck the goat dad thhats bestiality and valerius's's's's job. BIGMEATYCLAWS slithered up on stage and knocked him out cold. he sent him to the 666th layer of hell.
before everyone could calm down, chanyeol jumped up on stage and screamed "CHOGIWA" into the mic and evERYONE WENT FUCKING MENTAL.
crackhead prom was kinda nutty but its ok because
no its not.
this feels too short lets spice it up a bit.
...
...
..
...................................
MUCH BETTER HAHA
so crackhead prom is over and everyone goes home. pip just leaves and takes all of jareds clothes with her what the fuck go back to the closet pip you madman.
well she had to because she had to get home so she had the opportunity to return jareds clothes she just doesnt care haha #thuglife5evernot4everthobecauseyaknowthatshitsbadluck
she just went straight to her bed and decided to lay down. as soon as she did, LOVE SHOR STARTED BLASTING AND SHE SCREAMED. kai popped out of her closet. "so i heard that chen doesnt like you anymore uwuwu" she lookd at him kinda nutty like.
"idk what you mean we're cool" she gave a shaking thumbs up. kai went all like 👋👋👋 and pip began sweating. "WHY ARE YOU HRERE" kai smiled sweetly.
"you should know" he sat down on the bed beside her and she wept. like jesus. pip began SWAETING PART 2.
"hell NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" she jumped up. she slapped him with her Ripple-Infused Hamon Scarf™. instead of turning red, his whole face fell off. "BTICH WHAT THE FUCK" PAUL JACE CRAWLED OUT WITH HIS RAKES. PIP CRIED. SHE LET HIM THROW A RAKE AT HER. SHE PCIKED IT UP AND SHOVED HIM BACK IN THE CLOSET WITH IT. "BEGONE P A U L J A C E" SHE YELLED.
pip fell back onto her bed and screamed as loud as she could. this christmas she really didnt get a break up. its cool. but now she has to gind a way to get chen to like her dumb ass agian. just dont watch the love shot mv; she told herself over and over. it will be hard but she can do it or her middle name isnt nickel. XDDD
