He's in the Rain

chapter twenty-eight

"i don't know, beomgyu. i like him, but i don't think i do as much as he does." yeonjun ran his hand through his hair in slight frustration. beomgyu handed him his triple mocha frappuccino from starbucks and yeonjun drank from it. somehow, yeonjun calmed himself, and his mind, down.

it's been a week and some days since they went to yeonjun's hometown. in those days, it was the same, the usual: work, and work, and work, and then work. it's been how it was before. huening kai and taehyun were out, given extra work today though it was a saturday, and soobin was with his family. and now, yeonjun is with beomgyu, sharing his thoughts and problems.

soobin has yeonjun noticing his feelings for him that were getting deeper, and deeper, as the days passed by. it's still in his control, but yeonjun was afraid that he couldn't share the equal amount of feelings soobin has for him. in some case, it's like the one loves the other, but the other doesn't just yet. it's a hard issue to face, unless the other is fast to fall more.

"trust the process, hyung. it's not your fault if you don't feel the same thing just yet. if he really wants to take your hand, he'll wait." beomgyu looked at his hyung, assuring him for what the present is currently giving, and what the future might give. "i haven't seen soobin hyung give up even in the insignificant things, what more for you who is one of the foremost people in his life?"

"is that really you, beomgyu?" yeonjun asked as he looked deeply into beomgyu, examining his face. "'cause the beomgyu i know was never this serious."

"i hate you, 20th century friend." beomgyu laughed at his response, getting out of the serious atmosphere they were at earlier. right now, beomgyu is all smiles, but his friend isn't. yeonjun was still full of his own thoughts, sinking deeper into those.

"but seriously, i didn't know you had a serious side like this. i mean, this topic... it's love. how could you act as if you're that experienced?" if earlier yeonjun was diving into his own thoughts about his 'relationship' with soobin, now curiosity filled his mind.

was beomgyu in love? and if so, to whom?

"wait...?" yeonjun eyes went wide as beomgyu nodded in agreement. no way, just no way.

"yup. been there, done that." yeonjun stopped.

"oh my god, i had no fucking idea. why were you so silent all this time about this? i hate you so much! you couldn't even tell me." beomgyu bursted into laughter as yeonjun complained and complained about him not telling about his love life. i mean, they're friends, but beomgyu knew yeonjun was in the same state as him. he doesn't wanna be a burden.

taehyun. yes, taehyun. beomgyu has been hiding his sincere feelings for taehyun. it has been, how many? almost two years since those feelings of his are starting to be recognizable. taehyun was just oblivious. he was never aware of what beomgyu has in store for him. he'd always treat him different, but taehyun would always assume beomgyu is just that friendly. funny how beomgyu never even thought of giving up. funny how they've been running around each other, catching each other's tails when the feeling is, what do they call it? mutual. it has always been, they're just deep into the thought that there was no way they'd like each other.

"am i the only one who knows?" yeonjun asked beomgyu, but got surprised as beomgyu shook his head. "really? who else knows?"

"soobin hyung. he knew it even before you did." with the mention of soobin's name, a frown formed on yeonjun's mouth. he glared at beomgyu. "what now?"

"he knew it before i did! so who's the fake friend here?"

"shut it, hyung. i didn't even tell him, he just knew." yeonjun wasn't frowning anymore, he was just smiling. beomgyu looked at him, weirded out at his sudden change of emotion. i mean, who would get mad and then smile? what kind of idiocity is that? kidding, that's his normal.

"you know," yeonjun started another conversation with beomgyu. "i'm happy for you."

"yuck," beomgyu acted disgusted.

"no, twig! i'm serious!" yeonjun rolled his eyes as beomgyu laughed out loud. "i'll be supporting you in whatever. i'm really happy for you, because i know."

"you know what?"

"that you share the same feelings." yeonjun raised both of his eyebrows twice, teasing the younger.

"i don't accept lies, hyung. i don't want to assume that much."

"believe me or not, i don't care. that's your choice."

beomgyu smiled as yeonjun patted his right shoulder, smiling at each other. after a short while, they decided to go home and rest for the day. they walked, having no other choice and since beomgyu insisted on walking home. they could've just taken the bus if they wanted to but they didn't.

arriving at their streets, yeonjun and beomgyu were about to part ways when they heard a call from somewhere. "yeonjunie!"

oh, they know who that is.

"soobin." with the mention of his name and the sight of him, yeonjun's heart started beating faster once again. he wasn't surprised to see soobin here but he's also not expected. nonetheless, it would always be the same. yeonjun will still be nervous, blushing, and whatever a person who likes somebody would do.

"i'll go. bye, hyungs!" beomgyu bid his goodbye and ran towards his house. it's always yeonjun and soobin at the very end, huh?

"do you have time?" the questioned, soobin, nodded and smiled at yeonjun, who asked. yeonjun nodded as well and they started walking to no one knows where. they were just letting their feet take over this time.

"soobin, i—" yeonjun couldn't continue his words for he was nervous as hell, but he knows he should tell it as soon as possible before things might hurt. "i have to tell you something... important."

"what is it? i'll listen." soobin gave yeonjun a reassuring smile. yeonjun looked in front and took a deep breath.

"you know i like you, right? but i don't think i like you as you do to me. i'm afraid i may hurt you with that." yeonjun tightly closed his eyes, afraid of what soobin's reaction would be. for seconds his eyes remained shut, but after a while he opened them and slowly looked at soobin only to find him with a smile on his face.

"not a problem, yeonjunie," soobin started answering. "you're not at fault with that fact, no one is. you just can't blame yourself for something you didn't know will happen. trust your own process, and if it won't happen, i'll gladly accept it."

trust the process. that's what beomgyu said earlier as well. maybe it's the right thing to do — to trust whatever process will take place. it's not for him to decide, but for him to feel. he'll wait. he has a plan inside his head, but that'll take time for him to initiate it.

"but i'm still sorry for now—"

"don't worry, yeonjunie. i am very much willing to wait." yeonjun didn't know what to feel when soobin grabbed his left hand, holding it tight, as a sign of assurance. he received a beaming smile from soobin which he returned with a smile too.

"i'll wait for you. until your heart accepts me as its keeper."