Falling onto you

Entry #10

I broke down in a Walmart parking lot, I saw a girl with firey hair red like summer walking holding another's hand.

I was reminded of all I have had taken from me, I truly loved her more than life itself and now I don't know how to breath or look in the mirror again.

I did the thing that causes the biggest heart break, I watch her leave me. She's gone forever and the worst part I lied to her, I can never move on and love another.

if I were to go back I would make everything right again, sometimes when I look at her photos I can almost feel her touch again and see her beautiful and wide gummy smile I so long for.

my whole world crashed when she died and my whole life turned for the worst.

She was my soulmate but I think the universe thought we weren't, good thing we were never one for rules.

Summers POV -

I wake up the next morning in his arms and I'm over whelmed with the feeling of happiness.

"Good morning!", he says raspy and deep like he just woke up.

"Good morning douche bag", I respond in a sleepy tone.

I miss up his hair more and he smiles with his eyes still shut.

"Good to know your still yourself", he says happy.

"Yeah", I say tracing his scar.

"My dad gave me that, out of anger in the heat of the moment", he responds to tired to care what he just said.

he has scars too, maybe I'm not as alone at I believe I am at times. maybe Oliver was meant to met me, maybe he was meant to see me in full and me to see him.

"I got scars on my back from my mother bring whips to me when I was 10", I shrug off to in a calm tone.

"I guess where equal with that", he snorts.

"Yes we are!", I giggle feeling the grip of his arms around my waist tighten.

maybe we are two fucked up people but we found a way to grieve with our own pain by laugher and smiling it off and making jokes, because its okay to feel something when your with another and maybe Oliver brings it out in me to feel other things.

"Possessive are we.", I joked.

"Yes we are", he exclaimed.

Trying to wiggle out of his grip he only tightened more around me and held me close with his eyes still shut.

"I don't know how todo this", he blurts.

"what do you mean?", I giggle while finally giving in and resting into his arms.

"ive never truly cuddled with someone before", he admits and I can feel that he doesnt know what hes doing after I assumed he did.

I start to move away not touching him fully, "I didn't mean to...", he plants his large hands to my side and pulls me closer to him so there's no more gaps.

"I didn't mean for you to stop I want just simply telling you a statement", he replied.

smiling I griped my arms around his waist.

once we were together again in the comfort the way we originally where he slide his hand behind me and placed his head into my neck and chuckled to himself like I didn't notice.

this is where I belong, it hasn't been long with us and moving fast is the definition of what we are doing and yes it is sloppy but its our way of being sloppy together as one throughout all the chaos and fears.