Falling onto you

Entry #14

"you where always there for me at my weakest moments and I could only return the favor to you, but I was to late"

OLIVERS POV -

I've given up on my hero's and started loving the demons that they made.

my mother has always been a hero in my life, and today I got the news that she has passed away, my only hope in my life is gone and im left with the demon that I call a father.

my father is a piece of shit who couldn't care about anyone or anything unless it befits himself.

my dad made with a request to not have a funeral for my mother and to not even come to see her in the hospital.

I realized that I am no coward I am only so broken that I've given up on helping what once left me to die in the thrones while they took the roses.

my dad is the true coward who doesn't care, my mother, Elliot and me are just his victims.

I gave up years ago and let my own darkness take over but somehow summer brought me back to life, she gave me the light she need but also I needed.

together we are each-others savories in this and we help guide the other through.

summer opened my eyes to living in a cruel world by showing me her smile and how bright she shines while she's still in her own battles with other demons.

Death is our idea of a happy ending but acceptance is our idea of losing everything, not with summer though; summer made me realize that my acceptance will take a while even a lifetime to gain but easier knowing my mother is in a safer place even if it hurts like hell.

with so many demons caring me I do what I can do best, I run, I run so fast and far away from the hospital until my lungs and legs can no longer take it.

I ran all the way to the beach while the water flows onto the sand while families play in the water enjoying life, I think about all the times my mother brought me out here as a child and for a moment I forget.

I forget where I am and whats happing as I feel the water flow from my eyes down my face to my neck and onto my shirt.

I close my eyes taking in the salt water trying to regain what I have left of my sanity and fall to my knees, clasping onto the sand just letting the weight of the world take me down with it.

I let out a deep scream from the back of my throat and I don't care who sees or hears me, I just lost the one thing in my life thats always given me joy since I was a kid.

my mother was my whole world and I cant believe my father tried to turn it into being all about him, I get others grief differently but my father is to much of a selfish bastard to even care that the mother of his child has lost her life fighting her own demons suffering until the end.

~~~

after hours of just sitting there on the beach thinking of all the happy and bad memories of my mother; I run back to the hospital back into summers room, but she's asleep so I set back onto a chair close to her bed and just look up to the celling preying silently to my mother.

"Oliver", summers soft concerned voice brings me back to my own personal hell.

I seat up meeting my eyes to her and I just stare at her before moving closer in a swift moment, I hadn't even realized she was awake watching me this whole time until now.

"yeah", I finally whisper trying to forget everything thats going on.

"I'm sorry, truly. your mother... she was a fighter and she Brought joy to so many lives, I was one of the many people who she touched in her time being at the care facility and I don't know how you will ever go on without her but I can tell she loved you and Elliot dearly.", her comforting words can only get me so far as I look over at her sad smile she's trying to give me.

I hadn't even realized how many other people could be so effected by her death as-well from me bring so wrapped up in my own grief I was blind sided.

I move onto the bed with her leaning more on the edge so she has more room and I lean into her and taste the sweetness laying beneath the surface the summery air falling deep into her, her lips become my home waiting to be taken over by mine.

our lips meet being collided as one, summer taste sweeter than any candy or sweet you could ever have. she is more comforting than any person or item can bring in a moment of weakness.

"thank you", I mumble pulling her into my arms and resting my chin above her head and I kiss it softly many times trying to forget my mother.

"she truly loved you too summer, you made her happy while I couldn't be there with her", I say before closing my eyes to get a much needed rest that I've been avoiding having due to not wanting to see my demons again.

I feel at peace knowing my mother no longer has to fight in this cruel world anymore but I feel a great sadness take its place, what if the same fate is in line for summer? what would I do if I lost both women in my life I care so deeply for?

I cant dwell on what may or may not ever happen but think about what is right here waiting for me, summer the one constant in my life in the very moment.

I know summer and me are destine for great things I may not know what are planned but I know she is here for me waiting when they do happen.