Falling onto you

Entry #23

"I will be your knight and shinny armor everyday if it means I get to spend every waking minute with you."

Oliver's letter to summer -

dear summer,

the scariest moment of my life was when you collapsed at a party in collage, I wasn't near to help you and everyone around just stared until I found you.

I'll never forgive myself for not going with you to get hose drinks, maybe if I did things could've been prevented, but then again I could never control the future.

you walked in with your head held high I couldn't keep my eyes off you, you looked like a goddess a literal angel.

you walked to me more confident I never noticed how far you came in that year and a half without me.

you took the drink from my hand but I didn't mind I was glued to how well the black jeans and crop top fit you hugging all your curves, if only you didn't have that blue jean jacket on I would've had to pick you up and toss you over my shoulder hiding you from everyone else.

we weren't together, we didn't have a claim over the other but I felt the need to have you, please you, kiss you.

how can one be so perfect?

you smelt like lilacs and peppermint, I don't know how you pulled two combinations like that off but show how you did.

I was addicted, to your scent, you firey red vibrant hair, your every curve, your scars, but most of all you. I could go on for days naming what I loved and missed about you but I can sum it all up with a three letter word.

"how's the party going", I hadn't noticed your look you where giving me, I was so wrapped up in you thinking of the very drug I was addicted too but never really got over.

lord please let me bring this women home and do every sin possible to her! thats all I ask.

"Oliver", you waved your hand infant of my face giving me a concerned look.

"I'm sorry, I was taken back for a moment by something that caught my eyes", I stutter out miserably.

you gave me the biggest smirk that could kill me in an instant, "really? causes you where staring at me like I was a thanksgiving meal", your horsed tone gives that you've had to yell a lot today and I could see the tiredness in your eyes.

"no, your the whole dinner", I added.

you smacked my arm playfully before walking off and I followed right behind, why you might ask? because your my drug like I said and I'm not going to fucking let you go again!!!

"Oliver, I'm just gonna get something to drink you don't need to follow me", you froze in your stop turning back to face me while you talked.

if only I could listen to your voice forever constantly talking with you by my side I could never get bored or old from it.

god, maybe you do have me wrapped around your finger.

really you always have but I like to say that you haven't.

my egos too big for that, so is something else... if you get what im putting down.

"why would I do that when there are other people here? you could have someone come up to talk to you that isn't me!", my voice is whiny like a child on Christmas not able to open presents yet.

I would like to open your legs before me and fuck you....

"Oliver!", your voice commanding and wanting dominance.

"fine but I'm won't be happy about it", I listened to you only from my desires of wanting to picture you beneath me.

you walk away swaying your perfect ass around everywhere disappearing in the sea of drunk collage students.

"what a good piece of ass! you scored big time man high five", Ryan came near me bobbing his head smiling holding his hand up for me to high five it.

my fist clenched and my teeth started to grinned together, I wasn't about to have another talk. about you in a way so disrespectful.

before I put thought into it my fist swung back and collied with his jawline as I punched him harder than ive ever done to someone before.

that felt good.

he stumbled backwards falling to the ground and holding his check, "what the fuck man!", he sneered at me angrily.

"you know what you said! don't ever do it again either!", I spat out.

I walked away, he should be lucky I only did that. I wanted to kill and be out for blood with a comment.

I heard screaming come from behind me and people shouting for 9-1-1, I thought it was for Ryan and I rolled my eyes then I heard it... I heard someone yell your name.

your fucking name, you were hurt, no worse you collapsed on the hard wood floor.

my legs took control and my mind no longer in motion, my only instincts knew what todo next.

before I knew it I was kneeling down right were your cold fragiel body was, blood in your mouth and eyes shut.

you somehow looked so perfect and unreal.

I moved hair from your face before picking you up in my arms and caring you bridal style, "the ambulance will take to long, ill drive her to the hospital", my voice showing I wasn't up for debate or letting go.

I carried you all the way to my car and laid you in the front seat buckling you in and paying attention to where your head would be placed so you didn't get hurt from my driving being so rushed.

I ran to the other side and jumped in before driving off as fast as I could, I didn't care about laws or police officers, I only cared about getting you where you needed to be.

everything else after was a blur, I didn't know anything other than getting there and caring you in my arms and nurses rushing over and getting a gurney before taking you away.

that was the last I saw you until they called me back after many hours of waiting and waiting.

I stayed the whole time terrified for you, pacing back and forth biting my inside gums, people tried to talk to me but I didn't listen or care.

when they told me where they placed you it took me a mer .2 seconds to run there and get through the doors and hold your hand in all record timing.

the fear that anything could be wrong took over my mind as I held your hand close to me leaning my head down low praying for you to be okay.

but that was nothing compared to what I've seen know, you won't even ever be able to read this letter.

You were once my home, but I never left. No, my home left me alone when it crumbled into nothing but ashes.

its been years summer, I just want to be home again with you.

- Oliver