Falling onto you

Entry #26

"I could never forgive myself for the day I let you go..."

Oliver's POV -

I could watch the stars in the sky with her all night long until the sun came out and the clouds began to shine through.

I want to fly with the clouds and see all that laid for me up there.

I want to be able to see more than I was given the ability to do but I was okay with it knowing I had Oliver, though the hurt, the pain, everything, I had him.

I would hold her in my arms and never let her leave me and starve me of her touch.

But really I would watch her the whole time admiring her beauty and still find more ways to fall for her more and deeper.

If I could insure she's never alone for the rest of her life knowing I'm always there then I would.

Her scent is so pure like the flowers beginning to bloom for summer, the crisp air flowing around, the breeze from the ocean, and the sweetness of honey all in one.

How can someone be so perfect, yet with someone so horrible as me?

How can I be worth her love?

Summer fills me with the kind of joy you only find once in a lifetime and I plan to never lose it.

The thought that I could or might hurts me more, because not all good and perfect things last forever.

I hope one day we grow old together and die in each other's arms peacefully in our sleep so we don't have to watch the other go.

Summer, my internal light shining through all the darkness and pain. She's brighter than any thing you could ever imagine her kindness and sweetness take everything that could even count toward the bad.

Summers POV -

"after all these time I still don't know how to cuddle anything like you. I hope you know ive been all alone and with no one this whole time", I admit.

he kisses me and looks into my eyes, "I haven't been able to bring myself to be with anyone else either"

I pull myself closers as he wraps his arm around me possessively and I snuggle my head into his neck feeling happy to be in his arms again.

Oliver telling the story -

Not giving a care in the world I let myself fade in and out of the place around me, I take in the fresh scent of lilacs and breezy summer air around me. My mind wonders back to her truthfully I don't think I can ever stop thinking of her.

I lift up her notebook she so carelessly wrote her whole life in before I fill a small paper fall out, it's nothing much but when I pick it up it has the words 'dear Oliver' on it only drawling my attention to it more.

I turn all my attention to it and seat in the stop under the oak tree like I do everyday and began with the words....

Dear Oliver,

You are my love, I look at you as if you put the clouds in the sky. To me you made all things clear and let the sun shine down on me.

I want to bring up a memory in your head and I know I can already feel the anger setting when I haven't even written the words.

Remover Ryan, of course you do that name will stick forever as it brings upon things that no one should relive.

The day Ryan came up to be after our long night together I didn't know what todo as he destroyed a pet of me, yet somehow in a world between two who lost so much already you saved me time after time.

Oliver I want to tell you the full story of what happened not just the short summary of it.

I walk out of your small apartment dorm room into the hallway carelessly and free of all holding me back, I didn't think of anything but you in the moment.

Staring off into space I felt a hand glide across my back making me turn around to see who it is, although in the moment I thought it was Alex messing with me I was so wrong.

"Summer sweetwater, man have you grown some.... Wow", he looked in aw watching and studying every part of my body and I felt like throwing up just knowing he was their.

"Back off Ryan", I said in defense, but it was no use.

He took my arm holding it tightly between his grasp, " aw poor Oliver's greatest fuck", he gave me a pouting face only making me want to wiggle out of his grip more.

I wanted to punch him, kick his everything until it hurt.

"If you stop fighting me it might be better for your own good", he continued.

He took me into a empty room while I tired fighting his as he was to big for me I had to give in to his games and join him, what's the saying "if you can't bet them, join them"?

I did exactly that.

"What do you want from me Ryan?", tears realized from me into a sob.

"I want to make sure you never get into his head, I want to keep you running for the hills so badly you'll never come back", he spat out.

He gave me no other warning, no clear sign of anything until I felt a sting on my face from the impact of his punch.

He kept going harder and more aggressively until I felt others join in, at some point I was tied to a chair and at another I was so beaten to a pulp that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

The pain from my ribs, head, arms, legs, everything was to much.

I had been beaten and abused many times but this was the worst.

They left me in such bad shape it hurt to even do a thing, they left when I was pasted out probably leaving me dead but I wasn't gonna give up.

When I woke I dragged myself to the hospital from my hands and knees to fighting my way to stand and leaning against the wall for support I got to the hospital and collapsed in front of everyone in the lobby.

The last thing I remember is nurses, doctors, and others screaming and running at me before it all went blurry and dark.

But I survived... I survived because I wasn't done yet.

I may not know my full meaning to my life but I know I fight willingly every day for you and to see your face again.

You are the reason for my breath, and my heart beating.

Without you I would be nothing, and with you I am so much more than words can describe.

You are my strength, yet still my weakness.

Oliver Novak, I love you more than I could ever imagine before you love was just another thing I heard of read and now it's you.

her words written are enough to make me want to kill someone, but I know the full story of what I did after the made me rethink if she would ever forgive me.

You were once my home, but I never left. No, my home left me alone when it crumbled into nothing but ashes.

We talked until we couldn't form a sentence or keep our eyes open, and now I read aloud your life to myself until I can't think straight or see anything but the blur through my tears until I fall asleep close to you in the ground.

Heart break is a way to make you feel again, but somehow I've become numb to even that.