Falling onto you

Entry #21

"for I am still human please forgive me for my mistakes; as I do miss up, I am not perfect nor do I desire to be.

I may be messy, loud, annoying, and ungrateful you still gave up hope, for us. I will never forget this moment for as long as I shaw live I still look back onto this moment and regret every bit of it"

olivers POV -

she needs someone better, I am trouble and pain to her, "maybe I'm just not the one for you",I confesses to her.

I look at her shock written face, I know I don't mean it but she doesn't. I can't take back my words.

"what are you suggesting Oliver?", she emphasizes.

I take a moment to collect my very words I don't want to say but deep down are for the better, "we don't have a good relationship summer, don't you see it? we are better off without the two of us together. I only hurt you by being with you and every-time I look at you all I see is how much you hate me!", I snapped to her.

I don't want you to go and I truly love you I just don't know how to save you from what I could do. I don't deserve you.

"well if you think of us that way then we should take a break, maybe even break up! if it was such a problem to be with me you should've never agreed to date me! I wish I never meet you Oliver!", she barked at me as tears stream down her face killing me from being the cause of them.

I hurt her, she will never forgive me but its what I have todo.

she already hated me and I couldn't put her in more pain with me being with her.

"Don't you see it", she questions.

"What? What could there possibly be that I don't see", I scolded.

"I love you Oliver", she cries.

Looking at her broken leaving me speechless, how do I respond what do I do? Do I love her?

Questions will swarm in my head but even though the anger I know my answer; yes I do love her more than the world.

I go to touch her face, hand something anything that could tell her im still here and I don't want to hurt her but she pulls away, "Don't you fucking date", she roars at me.

"Summer please", I plea.

"No!", she commands.

"Summer I...", I try but get cut off.

"No oliver I'm done with your shit! Leave now", she demands.

Feeling like a brick fell on me building a wall between the two of us I try to brake it down by placing a hand on her shoulder before she smacks me.

"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Me.", she yells at me daring her with the look on her face.

So I leave like she wants, but I can't help the pit in my stomach telling me to stay as I listen to her sighlent screams and sobs so I do.

I stay outside her room waiting for her after some time I can't really place my figure on it but I fall asleep leaning on the cold wall on the hard floor for her.

I lied to her face... right to her and I can't take it back now.

summer

Love is what I want but I don't always get want I want so I settled for the hopes and dreams I once had. I believe that I was blinded by what I wanted so badly that I didn't see the rage and anger I had in myself and at him.