Fight for us

New home

Ellie pov

Running back home to forget my problems, who else? 

Returning back to my home town a place where I left behind without a second thought but as I was starring at my home with Tristan, it no longer felt like home, it just felt like a empty house filled with memories of the three of us. I look at Logan for a second before looking back at the road knowing moving back home is what my son needs right now, he needs a family a little more now and I wish it didn't have to come to this. My little boy hasn't spoken that much since the funeral and now currently sleeps in my bed afraid to let me go, Logan has already lost one parents his father, the two of them was thick as thieves when they was together, I will miss seeing those moments. 

As the green light appears I make my way to my mothers hoping she has the oven on as its been a long drive, we have stopped twice and bought food from the garage but its not the same as a home cooked meal. Tapping my fingers along to the light music playing in the background I think about the move which happened to be a long time coming, it has been over eight months since we lost Tristan and they say time heals but time has only made it worse. Moving back home I thought Logan will slowly move on with spending time with my brothers, he need a responsible male role model and I don't know why I though off my brothers but I did and I hope moving here brings out Logan a little more. Pulling in front of my parents I release the breath I was holding and open my door, I haven't been home for what feels like forever, walking around to Logan side I open his door and help him out the car, Logan is only seven but he acts as he's a teenager most of the times, I wish he stop growing sometimes.

"Sweetheart your home" I hear my mother shout as she walks up to us both with open arms but as I look at my mother I see a hint of pity in her eyes, I have spoke to both my parents a lot over the past eight months as it wasn't easy for me at first to admit I need help but now I'm slowly coming out my shell, I refuse to let anyone else in. I don't think I'm ready to lose anyone else around me. I returned back to work a month after losing Tristan but I had too, I couldn't sit at home and have everything remind me of him. 

I needed to forget. 

Running a hand though my hair I let my son spend a little time with his grandma before I get a hug from her, Logan has definitely miss his grandparents. Walking inside the house I look around and find nothing has changed, it looks all the same when I was last here but its not surprise really as my parents aren't much changers, they like keeping things the same and simple. 

Spending the evening with my family was peaceful it was good for all of us to be under one roof for a change, I knew it was a smart idea moving home but I wish I did it a lot sooner because after all eight months is a long time. Sitting on the sofa I look at my son who is wiped out next to me, the time with his uncles really took a troll on him and the drive here but I know its going to be worth it. Logan goes to a new school tomorrow and I go back to work as a paramedic, after losing Tristan I decided to be a paramedic I don't want Logan losing another parents and it was easier this way. Slowly picking Logan up I carry him to my old bedroom placing him onto the bed, I'm glad he has my brothers round now to help him settle in. 

Kissing his forehead I head back into the kitchen needing a glass of water before I go to bed, its been a long day and then work tomorrow, I don't know if i'm ready myself. I just want to settle in as quick as possible, I uprooted both of our lives as living in the house where Logan was born was hard for me, I was struggling to breath as everything reminds me of the good of times; the day Logan was born, our first Christmas as a family and when Tristan nearly burned the house down. I guess it was easier to move away then move forward.

Time heals all wounds, right?

"Come on baby, we are running late" I say looking around the kitchen for Logan to finish his breakfast before we leave, I cant believe we both got up late but in my defence I should have set an alarm clock but I must have forgotten which is common for me, i'm never on time for anything. Tristan always said I'll be late for my own funeral.

Grabbing my car keys from the counter I place them in my pocket making sure I grab everything before we leave, its Logan first day and I don't want him to be late, I have no problem being late. Within less than ten minutes we are both in the car and on the way to Logan school, I know I shouldn't be nervous for him but I am, in his last school he had loads of friends and now that he's in a new school, he be the new kid. Driving up to the front gates I watch Logan climb out and make his way inside, I'm watching him carefully making sure he walks inside the building, Logan is the only thing I have left of Tristan and i'm not losing him to anything, he will always be my baby. Once I see Logan enter the building I make way to my job which I know will be a long day, I don't even want to be the new kid but I guess that comes with moving. Driving to work I try not to overthink everything like I do sometimes when I don't know what i'm walking into.

Parking on the street I make sure I have everything in my pockets, I don't want to keep coming to my car when I need something but I already know I'll be keeping to myself as I really don't want to let anyone in, its nothing personal to anyone but last time I was in a fire station, they was family and when Tristan died everyone gave me pity looks, I hated it. Everywhere I looked I was reminded of Tristan and when everyone looked at me they was reminded of the accident that took there lieutenant. 

Walking into the building I try to hunt down the other paramedic i'm working with, I only got her name Megan jones, they didn't give me much to work with apart from a name. Looking around the fire station I find myself comparing this one with the one I used to work out, not a lot is different between them apart form this one is larger, I smile at that thought as i'm sure to find a place where I can be on my own. Walking into what looks like the kitchen and lounge together I see a couple of firefighters lounging around either eating or watching telly but my eyes go on the women walking towards me with a smile

"You must be my new paramedic Ellie" nodding my head I follow her out the kitchen as she shows me the way to the ambulance, where we be spending majority of our time together. Just spending five minutes with Megan I can already tell she's out going, always talking and mentioning everyone. Getting the tour Megan gives me the low down I feel a lot calmer being here, it should be easy working here as long as they don't know who I was married too or where I came from, i'm just hoping for a peaceful first day and first week.