Fight for us

Soft side

Archer POV

Letting the green eye paramedic cry in the supply closet was the right thing to do on my behalf, she asked about the patient and I knew the moment she asked that she was some how related, I should have asked for a confirmation but something deep down knew if I did ill be the one in a hospital bed next. Even though she never said it I'm not stupid the last name was the same and her reaction to him was clear. I knew the moment she broken down that she didn't want anyone seeing her, but I don't want her getting the wrong idea of me, I may be a gentlemen but that's only for show majority of the times. Waiting till the paramedic is in the room I leave to look at my patient I was treating before she came over and asked for information, she may be having a bad day but I'm having a worse day. The patient has been on life support for the past month and today the patient other half has decided to end the life support, walking over to the room I wait outside letting the lady husband to say there final goodbye, I have been handled the paperwork just a few moments ago but I won't do anything till the husband gives me the ok to do so. This is the hardest thing about the job, unplugging someone life support machine and I have every single time I have to do it, I'm a doctor I should be figuring out ways to save lives but sometimes fate has other plans like today. Watching from the distance the husband finally comes outside the room, I have to hear him say he's ready for me. Following him inside the room I look at him
"I'm ready, it's time" nodding my head I turn the machine off, pulling the tube out her mouth, i hate doing these types of things but I guess it's apart of my job. Looking at the monitor the lady flatlines and I call time of death before looking at the husband
"I'm sorry, she's gone. I'll give you some time alone" walking out the room I give the paperwork to the nurse, hating my job sometimes.

I hate this every time.

Needing the fresh air I step outside needing a second, I don't think I can lose another patient today, I have already called two times of death and the saying there everything happens in threes will be the death of me I swear. Running my hand though my hair I see the a fire truck pull up followed by a ambulance I'm not sure what to think but the second Megan steps out my mind goes to her partner and how she is doing, I haven't seen her since I let her cry in a empty closet
"Hey I'm looking for Ellie. Her brother was the patient she bought in" nodding my head I point to the room She's in which is surrounding by her parents, watching them head inside I think back to the name Megan said, Ellie which suits her. Following them with my eyes I watch as they enter the room she was in, as Ellie tenses I can see she doesn't know what to do, she's so closed off however her parents aren't. Her parents welcome everyone in giving them all a hug one by one like she has known them for ever, just looking at Ellie parents make me wish I had better parents sometimes, I never got the love that Ellie had growing up. The nurses who watched me did there best to make sure I had everything and there was this one nurse who went out her way to make sure I was ok every time I had to come to the hospital with my parents.

I'm ready to call it a day however my shift doesn't end for another couple of hours, and I'm already having the worse shift of my life, I'm losing patient left right and centre I just need a little break. Throwing myself down on the sofa I place my head in my hands feeling like the day is weighting me down. Closing my eyes for a brief I hear my pager go off, at the moment I just want to shut it off and ignore the world. Climbing back to my feet I head down to the er waiting for my incoming patient, working in trauma definitely has its down side of the job but I must of done something bad for my day to be this bad, I have worked my arse off to get where I am and I know some patients come in already have way dead but it doesn't make me feel any better, I feel like doing what Ellie did and cry in a corner.

Opening the ambulance door I get ready to treat the incoming patients but as soon as I look in the doors I see the monitor flatline and right in the second I know that the patients is gone, the look on the paramedic face said everything I needed to know. Instead of staying I leave this too another doctor who is behind me, I have had enough of patients dying on me, even if it's not something I did I don't think I can take another minute of calling time of death. Running a hand though my hair I head straight towards the back room needing a minute to calm myself down once again, I know the nurses are watching me get annoyed knowing they cant do anything to help but I feel so helpless right now, I just want the world to open up and swallow me whole right now.