Media Secret: Hidden Johansson

I hurt her

After a few small stops before me and the little blond nightmare made our way home she had woken up with a cute little yawn and was humming to the radio as i pulled into the driveway, i had seen movement in the window so it was obvious some of the family where awake, leaving all of the stuff in the car I helped rose out the car and both entered a very hectic house hold...

"Vanessa? What's going on?" I ask my aunt as she basically sprints past me and Rose stood in the doorway. She spins on her heels at the sound of my voice and her stressed face relaxes and turns into a huge smile. "Happy birthday Jr, your mum will explain she's in her office" As she vanishes into another room leaving Me and rose to look at each other confused before she shrugs at me and tugs my hand towards the office.

We wonder through the house listening to everyone clearly stressed for some reason and me and Rose walk into mums office to see her at her desk. "Mama? Mum? you okay" I ask her as we go in her head is leaning on her hands. "Happy Birthday Prince" She says completely ignoring my question and my stomach has now started to knot with fear and anxiety. "Happy Birthday ma what's going on?" I say hugging her and rose does the same.

"So... there was a small mix up... ACTO released your single last night..." She says leaning on her desk and i look at her completely confused.

"Okay so it's out a week early that's okay, why is everyone going insane out there?"I point towards the door and me and Rose look at each-other before looking back at our mother with eyebrows knitted together and head tilted slightly.

"Because it has gone viral in 8hours, Thomas the single cover is currently trending and has been published in almost all the news articles online, everyone has been getting calls and texts all morning how haven't you?" My eyes go wide, 8hours and i have gone viral...

"I- um- I" I stutter and stumble over my words and just about manage to make it to the sofa before my knees give out. I am in pure shock and that when 5 other people barge into the room. One short blond with a bright smile on her face a brunet with kind eyes that look happy and worried at the same time, My dad who i can't tell if he is seething with rage or proud right about now, Uncle chris looks like he is about to pass out from how excited he is but trying to contain it and Rebecca who looks at me confused as to why i'm not celebrating.

"Happy Birthday" all five of them chime at one and Brie almost breaks my rib tackling me into a hug. "That song is incredible and i love it"

"She is right it a amazing song" Lizzie adds on and pushes brie off me so that she can hug me which makes me laugh.

My dad and Uncle Chris tell me that they are proud and wrap me up in a hug and then Rebecca congratulates me and says that we need to open some champagne and open some presents. I hang back a little as everyone funnels back out into the kitchen and Lizzie notices and stays behind.

"Are you okay?" I shake my head slightly and let out a deep breath leaning against my mums desk today was meant to be a fun and chilled out day, instead i have felt the weight of the world crushing me and suffocating me, I have woken up at 3am the taken a 7 year old out at 4am for ice cream, cried over a picture and a bracelet, and now my face is out there with only a small masquerade mask covering my face... I am in over my head right now and all i want to do is get away from everything and everyone, i need to process everything but on a day like today i am just going to have to put on a brave face.

"Overwhelmed i guess it's okay come on" I mumble with a small crack in my voice that i try to cover, i stand up and go to walk out lizzie and she stops me.

"Your not okay you don't need to hide it from me" She says pulling me into a hug. I know i shouldn't but it's the best thing to do right now and shut everything out and ignore all the issues in my life all over again. Suppressing the guilt, the exhaustion, the stress, the fear, the itchy helplessness bubbling under the surface, and the horrific memories. I put up the few walls in my mind and they-fly up and give me the confidence to stand a little straighter and plaster that Johansson smile on my face, when i'm completely broken on the inside. "I'm okay now Lizzie thank you" I say a hell of a lot more clearer and roll my shoulders back as she lets go of me and i can see the confusion on her face and she heads out into the kitchen.