Media Secret: Hidden Johansson

Sunday Family Hangovers

I wake up in the morning in my new bed with the sun streaming through the curtains giving me a small headache as in open my eyes. I turn over to avoid he sun and look down at myself I am in the same clothes I was in before and i question how the hell I got here, the last thing I remember is being in the garden...

Where I told mum a lot more than I ever have, more than I have even told Steph. I growl at myself and head into the bathroom quickly jumping in the shower and throwing on some clean baggy clothes and I head downstairs to see the party people in the kitchen with what seems like fairly large hangovers except for mum, me and Katie. Charlie and James are nursing what looks like to be a full fried breakfast, and some coffee at the dining table while Brie and Lizzie are sat with their heads tucked into their arms leaning into the breakfast bar asleep and Katie and mum are talking while mum is cooking some more breakfast. "Morning?" I question and it received a groan from Lizzie and Brie making me laugh and James and Charlie wave at me from across the room. "How are you feeling?" My mum asks me and before I respond Katie asks another question. "How is your back and nose too?"

"I feel fine just hungry, and I haven't seen my back I think it's a little bruised but noting painkillers can't fix. Do you need any help mum?" I respond and clearly, it's too loud because Brie is reaching around to find something to throw at me, luckily there is nothing lethal so she throws an apple my way. "Stop shouting please" She grumbles. Mum shakes her head and Katie hands me a cup of tea, thank God for the British people in my house, I whisper a thank you and leave the room quickly heading into my office locking the door and starting up my computer. Logging in I call into Steph.

"Tom? What's wrong are you okay?" She asks me clearly worried I mean I would be too if my patient who decides never to show up called me twice in one week.

"Um yes, no. I think so, but like also not? Ermm.." I spit out taking a sip of my drink and start over. "No I'm not okay but I think it's getting better I opened up more too my muum. But I also had an episode on Wednesday with party poppers and champagne and I hurt someone."

"How do you mean to hurt someone? What did you talk about with your mum?"

"Well, Brie placed her hand on my shoulder and because I was in whatever you want to call it land, I didn't know it was her so I ended up twisting and bruising her wrist. She thinks she can hide the light nursing with long t-shirts and makeup... If it was Rose I could have broken her arm. As for my mum I told her more than I told you"

"You had a flashback after a trigger that caused a fight response, that is normal for someone with PTSD. What grounded you back to normal?"

"After Brie pulled her hand away my vision started to come back and i could feel the kitchen tiles under my fingertips and then continued to follow my senses."

"Okay so you had to wait for the Flashback to run a course before you could ground yourself, can you tell me what you could see, hear and feel while in your flashback."

"Erm well i couldn't see anything it was black, it felt like my hands where tied and a bag was coving my head. I could hear shouts of captain and gunshots and explosions, i could also hear people in pain."

"Okay an now you have had time to think about it how did it make you feel?"

"Week, venerable and useless." I explain and i can see Steph take down some notes to the side the screen. "I know what happens after that flash back..." Steph doesn't say anything jut nods and looks up at me trying to see if i am ready to open up about it. "They picked me up and pushed my head underwater over and over again until i passed out. Asking for the same thing, the same information every time" I let out a breath as i finish.

"But you never gave any information..." She states more for herself than for me. "Do you want to talk about what you talked to your mum about?"

"I-I told her..." I freeze up and can't formulate the words in my mouth as easily as i did last night and Steph just waits she's patient with me not pushing anything from me. "I- I told, her erm how I-I killer 4 men" I manage to mumble out through the broken cracks in my voice and the stuttering taking over.