Whiskey 'n Lace

~ Chapter Three ~

Olivia was still frozen with tears burning her eyes, so she didn’t realize that her phone was the one ringing. Cragen hesitantly stepped towards her, before awkwardly touching her arm.

“Liv, your phone is ringing.” He breathed, and Olivia blinked a few times before nodding.

“Oh, okay… uh, I’ll be back.” Olivia sniffled. She pulled her phone from her pocket before slowly walking out the side door. She found an empty room and stepped in before answering the call.

“Benson.” She hiccuped into the phone.

“Liv? Sweetie?” Serena asked, and Olivia swallowed hard as she tried to calm herself down.

“Mama, is everything okay?” Olivia breathed.

“I just listened to your voicemail. Elliot really left? Are you crying?” Serena questioned rapidly.

“I’m not crying. I’m just a little under the weather… and yeah, El left. He put in his papers and now I don’t have a partner. So if there isn’t anything else you want to talk about, then I really have to get back to work.”

“You can continue to lie to me about not crying, or you can come out to the house and we can talk.”

“Mama-”

“You just lost your best friend… it’s time to mourn him.”

“He is still alive.” Olivia grumbled as she rested her phone between her shoulder and ear. She wiped tears from her cheeks as she grew more angry than anything else.

“But-”

“Geez, Mama! I’ll come out to the house as long as you shut up about this! Okay?!” Olivia snapped.

“I will see you in a half hour… just bring a better attitude, Olivia Margaret.” Serena spoke before hanging up.

“Just bring a better attitude.” Olivia mocked, as she rolled her eyes and stood. 

Today was hard enough as it is, but now her mom had to pile on, too. The last thing Olivia wanted was to go out and get babied by her mother, but she had no other choice.

///

Olivia drove out to her mom’s house, and she had to try to calm herself down along the way. She also had to stop herself from veering off course and heading back into the city instead.

“My poor baby.” Serena frowned as she quickly walked out of the house.

“I’m a grown adult-” Olivia started, but she stopped when her mother wrapped her arms around her body and hugged her tightly. Olivia started to cry again, but this time it was quietly. She didn’t realize how badly she wanted a hug from her mother, or how much she actually needed it.

“Are you okay?” Serena asked softly as she held her daughter at arm’s length.

“I thought I was… no, Mama. I’m not okay. Elliot’s gone and I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” Olivia sniffled.

“Did he even say goodbye?”

“He didn’t even tell me what he was going through. He just left, and now I feel like someone has ripped me in half. El was my best friend, and I feel like we shared a heart.” Olivia whispered.

“Come inside, honey. I made tea, and we can talk this all out. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Inside the house, Olivia sat on the sofa and covered herself up with a warm blanket. Her mother got the tea around before bringing the tray out. Serena passed the mugs out before sinking down beside her daughter.

“So what happened?”

“You remember that shooting of a teenager not that long ago?”

“You ended up sleeping in your old bedroom because you were so scared.”

“Yeah, so Elliot was the one to pull the trigger. It destroyed him, but he never told me how he was feeling. He just left, and now I’m a floater. Cragen doesn’t think I will work well with others, so I’m essentially a desk warmer.”

“You need time to heal, Liv. And I talked to your mother-”

“Mama-”

“Don’t interrupt me, Olivia. But I talked to your mother, and we want you to stay out here for a bit. Figure this out surrounded by your family.”

“What about work? I still have a job, even if I’m not going to be very active.” Olivia frowned.

“You can still go to work, but we want you here. So we can keep an eye on you.”

“I don’t know. I have my apartment to take care of, plus a ton of plants that I need to water, let alone the fact I don’t want to drive an hour a day. I’ll be fine, but-”

“There’s my girl.” Debra smiled as she walked into the house.

“Why aren’t you at work?” Olivia asked quickly.

“You need time with both of your moms. So be prepared for a hug.”

///

Olivia went back into the city to pack a bag. She planned on going back to her apartment in a week or so, but right now she agreed with her moms. She needed to be with her family right now, especially since everything seemed to be going to shit in her life.

“Hey, Captain.” Olivia breathed, after knocking on Cragen’s door. She knew she had to talk to him before she could just slip away from a bit.

“How are you doing, Benson? Feeling any better?”

“Not really. But uh, my moms decided that I should stay with them for a few days… maybe a few weeks.”

“Wow, okay. Do you plan on coming back? Because even if you are only a floater right now, you are still incredibly important to this squad. You and John are my only two original detectives.”

“Sir, I’m not leaving for good. I just need some time. I can still work if you want me too, or I can put in some time to just focus on myself.”

“I can give you a month at the most-”

“Sir-”

“You can take a month, or a few weeks. Just update me when you are feeling well enough to come back. Okay?”

“Thanks, Captain.”

Olivia left Cragen’s office before walking back towards her desk. She grabbed a few items before frowning when she saw the new detective sit on her desk.

“Where are you going?” He asked.

“It is none of your business, Detective Douchebag. Also, get your ass off my desk.”

“C’mon, Benson. It is going to be the end of the day soon… stay and then I can take you back to my place.”

“I’d rather die than sleep with you, Amaro. Get your ass off my desk, before I shove my heel up it. Am I understood?” Olivia spat.

“Such a bitch.” Nick huffed.

///

Olivia’s first night at her moms’ house was hard. She missed her bed, and she didn’t like the fact she had boy band posters still up on her wall from like sixteen years ago. Usually if she couldn’t sleep during a bad case, she could call Elliot. But now she can never call Elliot because he fell off the face of the Earth and she no longer mattered to him at all.

“Stephanie?”

“Charlie, have you ever read a damn caller ID?” Olivia sighed.

“Liv? Why are you calling me?” Charlie asked.

“Our moms are asleep, and I need to talk. I can’t sleep.”

“So you call me? Girl.” Charlie sighed.

“Elliot quit.”

“What?”

“Elliot quit, and now I don’t know what to think or feel. Can you just be a good little brother and listen to me? Please?” Olivia whispered.

“Talk away, Liv. I’m listening.”