Whiskey 'n Lace

~ Chapter Twenty-Seven ~

Even if she knew she shouldn’t, Olivia took tests almost every week. Each time they came back negative, and she threw them away without even telling her husband. November came and went with their first Thanksgiving celebrated as husband and wife, and then it was Christmas time and they were busy getting gifts bought and their penthouse decorated.

“Did you take one yet this month?” Rafael asked his wife as he stood at the top of the stairs and held the end of a string of lights. Olivia was at the bottom as she finished twirling the lights around the railing before looking up at her husband.

“Taken one of what?” Olivia asked.

“A pregnancy test, love. You were taking one every month, but I haven’t seen one since the end of October.” Rafael replied.

Olivia’s face went red as she thought about all the tests she took without notifying her husband. How she hid things from Rafael for over a month.

“I took one on Thanksgiving, but it was negative.”

“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?” Rafael asked as he walked down the stairs. He grabbed Olivia’s arm before she could walk away and hide, before looking her face over. He saw the tears in her eyes and the pain etched into her face.

“I didn’t tell you because I’m tired of disappointing you… the one thing we want, I can’t give you. I’m thirty-six, almost thirty-seven, and I don’t think I will ever get to experience being pregnant. The flutters that turn into kicks, decorating the nursery, and holding our brand new baby against my skin for the first time… It will never happen. I am so sorry, Rafa, because you will never be a father… and I know you’d be an amazing one.” Olivia whimpered as hot tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Olivia, I am not disappointed in you. We have been trying our hardest to get pregnant, and the time just hasn’t been right. If you don’t get pregnant, we can always adopt. We could foster at-risk kids and adopt them! Baby, there are so many ways for us to be parents and eventually, we will be the most amazing parents to a kid.” Rafael smiled softly.

He wrapped his arms around Olivia’s body before cradling her head as she sobbed. Rafael knew that not conceiving was hard for himself, but it was a hell of a lot harder for his wife. He hated that he hadn’t checked up on her more recently, because then maybe she wouldn’t be as destroyed as she was at this moment.

“I’m sorry to bring down the mood. We were having so much fun decorating, and then I had to get all emotional.” Olivia sniffled as she stepped back from her husband and tried to compose herself.

“Don’t apologize. I think we both needed that. Now, go wash your face and join me in the kitchen. I bought a new bottle of wine and we can drink some of that before finishing up the house. Okay?”

“Okay.”

///

Olivia still felt down all night, but she put on a smile to make her husband not feel as bad. They finished decorating the penthouse and putting their tree up before heading to bed. The next morning, Olivia woke up early and decided it was the perfect time to disappoint herself once again.

Olivia took her test and then hopped into the shower. Once she was out and doing her hair, she hesitantly flipped the test over. She looked at it for a moment, before she lifted it and stared at it closer.

She saw something different from all the other tests. She saw an extra line that she and Rafael had never seen on a pregnancy test before. Olivia quickly dropped her brush before running from the bathroom and into her bedroom.

“Rafa!” She cried, as she scrambled onto the bed and rolled her husband over.

“What is happening?!” Rafael asked as he stared at his wife. Olivia was straddling his waist as she tried to hold the pregnancy test in view of her husband, but her hands were shaking too badly for Rafael to even read it.