Whiskey 'n Lace

~ Chapter Nine ~

“Your tie?” Olivia asked as she stared at Rafael in confusion. She was sure that Rafael’s tie was somewhere in his office, not in her apartment.

“Yeah, my tie. It’s the one hanging from your bedroom doorknob.”

“There isn’t a tie there. I’m sure.” Olivia spoke with a laugh. She and Rafael made their way towards her bedroom before Olivia pointed at the outside doorknob and smiled.

“Liv, not this side. The inside one.”

“I swear that there isn’t a tie on that side either.” Olivia sighed. She stepped into her bedroom before closing her eyes tightly when she saw the tie. She reached out and ran her fingers over the silky material before turning to look at Rafael.

“Did you steal it from me when we were at Regina’s funeral?” Rafael questioned, and Olivia shook her head.

“Uh, no. I didn’t. So is this the one you were wearing last night?”

“It isn’t. So are you going to tell me how it got here? Or do you honestly not know?” Rafael replied. He didn’t know why Olivia seemed almost embarrassed about his tie.

“I honestly don’t know… I hate to tell you this, but I was doing some things… some men… that I regret. This could totally be one of theirs, but I wouldn’t know which one.” Olivia whispered.

Rafael looked at Olivia for a moment before stepping close to her and gently kissing her temple.

“Don’t feel bad about what happened before. You were still struggling with everything having to do with Elliot. But that is my tie. I bet that if you look at it, you’ll see my initials stitched into it. My mother bought me this tie, and she didn’t want me to lose it.”

They stood in silence as they both tried to figure out how this happened. They completely believed that last night was the first, well first of many times, they had slept together. But after finding this clue, they were unsure.

“When did you start… doing things you regret?” Rafael asked as he sank down onto the edge of Olivia’s bed.

“When Elliot left. The day I found out he had put in his papers was the night I ended up doing things that the old Olivia Benson would never have done.”

“When was that?” Rafael questioned. He had a vague idea, but he wanted to be sure.

“I think it was August eleventh of last year. Everything gets a little blurry after he left. I drank a lot more than I have ever drank before in the days and weeks following.”

“That was not long after I moved back to New York. I even think that was one of the first weeks and I was stressed and drinking a lot too.”

“Stressed?”

“We moved back for Abuela. I was stressed because I didn’t know if I’d be accepted at my new job because Florida law is different from New York law. It’s a whole different game… and I was worried that we’d get back and we’d lose her.”

“You never told me that,” Olivia whispered.

“I try to be strong, but it’s hard most of the time. I’m good at hiding my feelings and only seeing the world in black and white. It makes things a little easier.”

“So do you think we slept together? That the first night I decided to be a different person, was the night we first started things?”

“I think so. I do remember this super cute girl, but she’s kinda blurry.” Rafael smiled, and Olivia looked at him and nodded.