Whiskey 'n Lace

~ Chapter Fifteen ~

After the week before, Olivia was truly looking forward to spending a long weekend with her boyfriend. This week had been less eventful, so she assumed that her appointment with Dr. Lindstrom would be easy. That they would just catch up and call it good until the next week.

“So you and Rafael are taking a long weekend, correct?” Dr. Lindstrom questioned as he looked through his notes from the week before.

“Yes, we are.” Olivia smiled. She couldn’t wait to be alone with Rafael for three days, with hopefully no interruptions.

“What are your plans?” He questioned, and Olivia blushed a bit. She and Rafael had tried to not rush things, but they might take the  next official step this weekend, and that was exciting.

“Uh, we are going to be staying at his place and just spending time together.”

“Olivia, I’m your therapist. You can tell me anything, and you still are having some issues in regards to men.”

“I’m fine.” Olivia spoke as she looked down at her watch.

“Are you ready to take the next step with Rafael? Like sex?”

“Oh geez.” Olivia grumbled, as her face went red. 

“I’m not trying to embarrass you, Olivia. I’m just here to help you figure things out. So will this weekend be the first time since you two started to date?”

“Kinda.” Olivia frowned as she started to put her walls up. She didn’t enjoy discussing these matters with anyone but the man she was with. 

“Olivia-”

“I’m scared, Dr. Lindstrom. Like what if this time Rafael realizes that he doesn’t want me anymore? Or that we both have problems performing because the last time we were together, I was a fucking mess? It’s scary, but also exciting because I think I finally found the one for me. The one that I could spend the rest of my life with, and the one I could start a family with.” Olivia spoke, as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

“Olivia, if Rafael truly cares about you, he will take things slow. If you don’t want to do things this weekend, then you need to advocate for yourself. Use your voice and make sure he knows that you aren’t ready.”

“But what if I’m never actually ready? Rafael won’t want to be with me if I’m not willing to put out.”

“You need to talk to him, Olivia. Make sure that you two are on the same page. So please, take a few breaths and we can figure things out together.”

“I don’t want to be with anyone but him.” Olivia whispered, and Dr. Lindstrom nodded.

“I know.”

“No, I mean, like I wish that I never slept with those other guys. That I wouldn’t have made those mistakes so that I wouldn’t be scared about what may come this weekend.”

“I don’t know what you think, but I believe that everything happens for a reason. So maybe sleeping with all those guys was supposed to happen. It was a wake up call to allow you to reconnect with Rafael.”

///

Olivia decided to not tell her boyfriend about what she talked about with Dr. Lindstrom. She didn’t want to make things more complicated, so she kept it bottled up and prayed she wouldn’t explode.

“I know that spending three days here isn’t fancy, but with that winter storm warning targeting us, I thought it was better that we stayed at home.” Rafael spoke as he helped Olivia bring in a few bags. She had some things at Rafael’s house, but not enough for an extended stay.