Whiskey 'n Lace

~ Chapter Five ~

Life without Elliot led to Olivia doing things she has never done before. She was drinking pretty much every night, along with bringing random men back to her apartment and sleeping with them. She was more of a relationship type of girl, but now she just wanted to feel something, and a lot of these guys made her feel very good.

However, with this change in Olivia’s routine, she ended up falling short at work. She’d show up hungover or late because her new ‘friend’ stayed late. Everyone was noticing the change, but no one really knew what to do or say to Olivia.

“Benson.” Cragen sighed as he saw Olivia walk into the squadroom an hour later than she was supposed to. She was wearing dark sunglasses and carrying a coffee.

“Yes, sir?” Olivia breathed, because any loud noises made her head hurt more than it already did.

“I think it is time we talk. Put your stuff away and meet me in my office.”

“Captain, I’m good. I’m just going to-”

“It is an order, Detective!” Cragen huffed, and Olivia winced before nodding.

“Yes, sir.” She whispered. 

Olivia put her stuff away as everyone watched her. Her movements were slow, not only because she was hungover, but also because she didn’t want to go and face Cragen.

“Shut the door.” Cragen frowned once Olivia finally reached his office. Olivia shut the door before leaning against it.

“What did I do?” Olivia asked softly.

“You are late. Again. Let alone the fact you are hungover. So do you want to tell me what is happening?”

“Not really.”

“Olivia, I’m not really asking. You are going to tell me what the hell is your problem, before I decide to suspend you.” Cragen sighed.

“Nothing is wrong! God, can’t I just have fun?” Olivia spat, but regretted it almost instantly. She started towards a chair before slumping down in it as she squeezed the bridge of her nose.

“Olivia, this isn’t you. Something is wrong, and I’d like to know what is happening. If there is anything I can help you with, or maybe your moms or one of the others could assist you with.”

“This is the new me, Captain. Just deal with it.” Olivia frowned. She went to stand, but Cragen moved and sat beside her.

“You really miss Elliot, huh?”

“W-what?” Olivia whispered.

“You are acting like this because of Elliot. How he left without saying goodbye to you at all. Right?”

“I’m-”

“Don’t lie to me.”

Olivia swallowed hard before quickly brushing a tear from her cheek.

“I’m pissed off, Captain.”

“Okay.”

“I’m pissed off at Elliot for leaving me… for also making me love him when he was around. He didn’t deserve my love and friendship. Now I’m just trying to figure out how to feel anything but sadness and anger. So that is why I have been hungover and late. I have been doing things that old Olivia never would have done, just because old Olivia was attached to her partner and he’s not around anymore.”

“I need you to stop doing these things, and get your head back in the game. We have some of the hardest cases to work with, and I need you to be prepared for everything. So please, get yourself some help and figure out what helps you and what doesn’t. Do you understand?”