𝑴𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 | ✔

Chapter 25

*Erin's POV*

"Get back here for a second." I grabbed Jay's arm and saw that as his eyes focused on me, he was with me mentally too.

"You okay?" I had seen that he hadn't shot, I had seen the people behind him and also that Atwater and Ruzek had to shoot the man, which would have been Jay's job in this constellation.

"No. I'm not. I fucked up. I let you guys down and already killed those innocent people. Just because I thought I saw something, but here is nothing." His eyes roamed over my body and I knew my clothes were soaked in blood.

"Not mine." Sadly it was the women's that the man had been following around.

"I almost thought so." Jay wanted to say something else, but was grabbed by the shoulder and taken away by Kevin and I was sure that he would now have to listen to a lecture.

Because I felt like there was something to his story I walked down the corridor again and then saw something move aswell.

"Upton!" I motioned for her to go the other way around the shelf to cut off the person's path.

"It's a kid!" She was faster than me and when I saw them both sitting on the floor my heart shrank.
The little one sat shivering on the floor and desperately clung to a book.

"Hey little man." I crouched down but when he looked at me he began to scream and it took the guys only a few moments to be with us.

"It's how I look." I hadn't thought about the fact that I was covered in blood.

"Ey Ro. Get in here, we need you." Vanessa was outside with the old woman, but the danger was over, so the woman could be left alone.

"Be right there." She answered me over the radio and I went back into the corridor so that the boy wouldn't have to see me anymore.

"You saw something real." I looked at Jay and he nodded.

"Let's get you back to the district so you can change." Jay looked at me but I shook my head.

"We're not finished here yet, we still have to see who the boy belongs to, he's barely ten." Jay nodded, but something was still on his mind.

*Jay's POV*

I was still not happy about how I didn't react and I knew that Kevin was super mad.

The speeche he made was clear; either I get my shit together, or I can be happy if I'm still allowed on patrol.

"Jay." Lindsay snapped her finger in front of my face and I focused my gaze on her.

"You did good. I don't care what the others thing, okay?" She took my face in her hands, put her lips on mine, and then walked away because she still had something to do.

"Thanks. But it certainly was not enough." I mumbled under my breath and walked over to Dawson and his partner.

"You guys need me to do something?" Antonio and Kim looked at me.

"No. Maybe you make out a little less with your girlfriend, let her do her job and do a better one yourself." I obviously didn't make a first good impression.

"Don't mind him or the others, they are just a little pissed off because it didn't go the way we wanted it to go and with you now they have someone to vent their anger." Burgess patted my shoulder motivationally and I was glad that not everyone seemed angry with me.

I looked around and the little boy looked at me.

"Hey there. So what's your name?" Rojas and Upton were behind him, but he seemed more interested in me.

"My name's Max. Can you call my dad so he can come and get me?" His look was hopeful and the eyes of the two women widened.

"That's such a nice name. I'm Jay by the way." I sat down next to him and I saw Upton speaking into her radio.

*Erin's POV*

Seeing Jay with the little boy made me feel bad for not being ready to give him a child of his own.

"It's almost creepy how quickly Jay found access to the child. The boy didn't speak a single word to me and Vanessa." Hailey stood next to me and we watched them for a while until a man came into the library.

"Excuse me. I was told that my son is here." The man looked around and at me especially, because I was still wearing the shirt, which had also scared Max.

"You're the father to Max then?" I asked just to make sure and when he nodded I signaled to Jay to bring the boy.

"Dad!" The boy ran towards his father and Jay stood next to me.

"Thank you so much for taking care of him." I wondered why the boy had been here all alone, but I didn't question it because his father didn't look like someone who was neglecting his child.

"Al and I take care of the stuff here and you guys go back to the district to start the paperwork." Antonio ordered and we went back to the cars.

"Tell Jay it wasn't that bad. I can see from miles away that self-doubt is eating him up." Rojas was driving because I had officially announced that I was too tired to drive.

"I know. I tried it earlier, but I can't change his mind that easily. Kevin must have been pretty strict." I knew that I was just looking for someone to blame so Jay would be out of it, but that wasn't right because I knew that his mistake could have cost lives, including his.

"Atwater should pull himself together, he did make mistakes himself and still does." I saw Hailey roll her eyes in the exterior mirror.

"I guess." I slid deeper and deeper into the seat and at some point my head sagged forward, even before we got to the district.

*Jay's POV*

"Jay!" My head shot up when my name got called by Vanessa.

"Yeah? What's up?" I walked towards the car she just got out of.

"Your girl fell asleep on the ride here. You might want to consider carrying her in or something." Threw in Upton and grinned at me.

"So that Kevin can blame me even more?" I really didn't feel like messing it up with the guys any more.

"They didn't come back here but went straight home. So it's just us and you have to do it because I want to see the look on Platt's face, when you carry Lindsay's blood-soaked body past her." Hailey seemed to find that idea pretty entertaining and so I opened the door, unbuckled Lindsay, picked her up and then went up the stairs.

"Chuck..." Platt put her eyes wide open.

"She's alive. Don't worry. Just asleep." A few patrolmen looked at us scared.

"Ouh she better be or I'll blame you personally for letting this happen to her." She raised her finger threateningly and I made me come up.

"She's just sleeping." Burgess, with whom I came back here, was only shocked for a moment before I said that.

"Take her to the locker room and wake her up, she has to get out of her clothes." I agreed with Rojas and went to find Lindsay's locker.

I put Erin on the bench and started looking for something for her to change.

In her locker were some photos with her and the unit and then one of her and a slightly younger brown-haired woman who I had never seen before.

"That's Nadia." I winced because I hadn't heard her wake up and step up behind me.

"She's working here too?" Her voice had a weird undertone.

"She did. A few years ago." She looked at the picture and ran her thumb over her friend.

"Then she got murdered because of me." Her voice went dark and she closed the locker.