𝑴𝒆𝒂𝒏𝒕 𝑻𝒐 𝑩𝒆 | ✔

Chapter 36

*Hailey's POV*

"Easy Jay. You have to speak in full sentences for me to understand you." Jay was completely out of it and I still hadn't figured out what had actually happened.

"So I called you because you are Lindsay's partner. So you should know her best, right?" Before I could even begin to answer, he was talking on.

"And that's why I need you to tell me what I did wrong." I sighed and I felt horrible because he looked so miserable and couldn't really move.

"What happened Jay?" With all the talk he'd never gotten to the point where he spilled the actual tea.

"This." He held up the ring that I knew from it's place on Erin's finger.

"Whoa." I was flabbergasted because I expected everything, but that.

"There is no way she meant that." I needed to sit down because that was too much for me to take and I was beginning to understand why Jay was so upset.

"I'll find her, okay?" I promised him and got up because I was pretty positiv to know where she was.

I walked down the stairs if the building and then over the street and into the bar.

"Good evening. Detective Upton." I flashed my badge at the bartender and he looked relieved.

"I'm looking for Erin Lindsay. Blond hair, about this height." He nodded when I said that.

"She just went to the bathroom." The door swung open and Erin, heavily swaying, came out.

"Hailey!" She slurred loudly and I walked up to her, whereupon I walked up to her and put an arm around her waist.

"That's my partner." She pointed at me proudly and I smiled at the guy apologetically.

"Alright Lindsay. That's enough. Let's get you home and back to Jay." I buckled her up, but when I said that she focused her eyes on me.

"I'm not going to stay with Jay. I'm no good for him." The words were clear and I knew she was serious even though she was drunk.

"Okay. Then you're gonna stay with me and Ro." I had no idea were else to take her because Jay was at her place.

"What the...?" Vanessa came down the stairs when I came in with a heavily drunk Erin and put her on to the couch.

"Just let her. Something happened between her and Jay, let her sleep off it off and maybe she's fine again." I looked at Lindsay, who was sound asleep on the couch and then went up the stairs with Rojas.

"Or not." My friend shot me a look and I knew what she was talking about.

*Jay's POV*

The bed was cold, uncomfortable and just empty and the night had been horrible.

I had no idea what I had done to deserve it but it must have been bad, because my ex-fiancé left me.

Can you at least tell me how I screwed it up?

I send off the text and surprisingly enough got a text back right away.

It's not you. It's me. I just need to figure things out.

Great. Lindsay was not even mad at me and there was no way for me to fix a thing I didn't do.

"Arg." I put a pillow in front of my face and screamed in it because I didn't know what to do with my anger.

For a second I was considering to ask Voight if there was a chance for me to get back to work early but then I remembered that Erin and I shared a job.

"Maybe I should transfer or just consider the 'jumping from a house option' again." I looked over at a poster from my favourite band but obviously didn't get an answer.

*Erin's POV*

"How can you be so cherish and happy so early in the morning?" I rolled over to see Vanessa dancing while waiting for her coffee to be ready.

"Erin it is 11am. You should consider getting up. If you can get drunk in the evening, you can bear the consequences of it the next day." She held out the mug to me and I took it gratefully.

"I don't know if Upton told you, but I broke up with my fiancé and blew my chance to have Jay in my life and bed." The last part made her grin.

"Well. You should consider taking to him." To avoid a need to answer her I buried my face in the mug and inhaled the smell of the coffee.

"Ro got a good point. When I saw Jay yesterday he was completely upset and had no idea what he had done. So what did he do?" Hailey joined in and now I had to face them both.

"It's me. I'm the problem. I'm the reason he got shot, the reason he is in pain and at home right now." As I said this, I felt my feelings going numb.

"Then be there for the guy." Vanessa raised an eyebrow.

"Good point right there, V." I looked up and she looked offended.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to go off on you like that. It's just that my childhood was pretty crappy, nobody ever told me how to deal with my feelings because the only thing Bunny was feeling was the need to get more drugs into her body." I got up, started walking around the room, picking up things haphazardly, only to put them right back where they came from.

"My childhood wasn't great either." Rojas spoke up and Hailey agreed.

"But here we are. All went through hell but we made it, on our own, so why don't you make your way back to Jay on your own, or I would even offer you a ride." I appreciated their offers, but they didn't seem to understand that I was just too screwed up.