Welcome to this book by @Bookfunreader123 and @riptide2406, also known as Amber and Selene. This is our special place where we roast every overused Riordanverse fanfiction trope available and write horrible cliché fanfiction to prove a point. If you...
IMPORTANT REMINDER: You are beautiful just the way you are. Please do not listen to whatever schist Luna says below.
Luna Moon POV
I opened my silver orbs and blinked at the ceiling, thinking about all the possible ways my day could go wrong. I sat up, and my golden locks fell neatly on my shoulders, adorning my head like the Golden Fleece waiting to be taken by Jason and his Argonauts. I rubbed my beautiful orbs and yawned cutely.
I jumped out of bed and heard my father yelling at me to get up. I rolled my eyes; he would never understand me. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, internally cringing at my slim figure, ugly freckles and smooth skin. I was so ugly.
Recently, I had found out that I was very smart, and my other powers included controlling fire, water and snow, super strength, growing plants, tending to hearths, raising the dead, controlling temperatures, shadowtravelling, talking and turning into animals, wielding all sorts of weapons, electrocuting, producing wine out of thin air, blending into the darkness, being quirky, singing, dancing, drawing, painting, sculpting, knitting, walking, running, hunting, causing global warming because the boys think I'm hot, blinking my orbs, polluting the environment, crying, laughing, doing all sorts of magic, combat, pulling metals out of the earth, sensing my way through a tunnel, charmspeaking, blood-bending, watching anime, listening to BTS, healing, glowing, stealing boyfriends, crying and building.
I felt like such an outcast, I had no friends. I was always the different one. I ate pizza in my oversized hoodie while the other girls dressed in short dresses, wore makeup, and drank liquor.
I was not like other girls.
I walked downstairs with my father abusing me and then went to school where I got 10000% in every subject. I am so dumb. Then I became spiderman and jumped over the school wall. I was so weak and not athletic at all. Then I met a totes handsome boy named Leo and went with him to a camp for kids like me like any rational person would do.
And then everything went black.
~time skip~
I woke up to a hot emo looking boy tending to my wounds.
He looked up and said, "My boyfriend is busy. I'm Nico di Angelo, by the way. You must be Luna Moon?"
I nodded my head. "Ahh, wait- boyfriend? Y-you're a homosapien?!?!?!"
"Unfortunately. I wish I was a rainbow unicorn though. Alas, I'm a smol broken emo homosapien."
My heart broke.
Well, at least I have Leo and- holy forks and knives who was that guy passing by, smelling like the ocean-?
Then I kissed the passing boy and he yeeted his girlfriend into Tartar sauce. Like, the fish sauce, obviously.
And then everything went black.
~time skip~
I woke up to a horse dude staring at me. I screamed. The ocean dude, whose name was Percy, came and calmed me down. I smiled internally because this was all part of my plan to get attention from Percy. I just wanted to be loved, you know.
Then, my mom visited and told me to go on a quest.
By the way, my mom is Artemis. Yes, you read that right. I was not supposed to exist, but here I am. She wouldn't tell me how I came to be, but she said I would accomplish great things and hugged me. She asked me to join the hunt, but I refused. I was not throwing away my shot at getting totes hot guys to date me even though I'm ugly.
Then I dressed up in my size 0 oversized T-shirt and my size -6 jeans and packed my magic bracelet bow in my bag. Then I went outside with my boyfriend Percy. Then I grabbed Calypso and Annabanana and put them in the actual Tartar Sauce. Then, I packed my totes hot boyfriends, Persassy and Mcshizzle in my backpack and rode my silver rainbow-barfing unicorn to my destination.
I tried to remember the prophecy the oracle had given me before I had left:
"The forbidden daughter of Artemis must travel south
No, this is totes not the worst knock off of the Great Prophecy
She shall defeat every single bad guy (even Billie Eilish) that has risen
And kiss her hot boyfriends till Thanatos knocks on their door to shut them up permanently"
I wondered what it meant. I mean, I knew who Thanatos was, but the rest of the prophecy was pretty hard to decipher.
I arrived at Atlantus. No, not Atlantis, I mean Atlantus. The gods were very creative with the names, and I appreciate them for that.
Then like 33 baddies came at once, and with a swish of my bow, I defeated them all!
Leo crawled out of my bag, "does this mean most of the prophecy is complete?" he said.
"I think so!" I said.
"Yay!!" I said.
"Awesome!" Percy said.
"But wait!" I said.
"What?" Leo said.
"We still need to kiss!" I said.
"Oh yeah!" Percy said.
And then we all smooched.
The sky turned dark and the temperature dropped at least 20 degrees.
