Welcome to this book by @Bookfunreader123 and @riptide2406, also known as Amber and Selene. This is our special place where we roast every overused Riordanverse fanfiction trope available and write horrible cliché fanfiction to prove a point. If you...
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[Highkey an rr crit chapter.]
You blink your eyes (orbs) open as Amber drops a bunch of books on the table in front of you. You notice the title of the books as your vision clears. One of them is The Tyrant's Tomb, and the other on top of it is The Titan's Curse.
Wow, are they going to read them to me? They really don't have a life, do they? you think and roll your eyes (orbs).
Selene slams her hand on the table in front of you and you look up at her, intrigued.
Are they seriously interrogating me as bad cop and good cop right now? you raise your eyebrow Looks like Halloween arrived early for some.
The two glare at you, and you blink a few times, trying to clear the sleep from your eyes.
"That outfit really isn't working for you," you say pointing at Selene. "Oh, and your aggression isn't either."
This time Amber slams her hand.
Oh, so they both are the bad cops now.
"This is serious, y/n. They did it again."
This catches your attention. You sit up straighter. "What? Who? Wait- Lavinia snuck out with Poison Oak again?"
"What? No- Well, yes, but no-!"
You gasp, "Aphrodite and Ares are having another kid?"
"No, no, no-"
"Don't tell me. The readers are writing more Pertemis fanfiction?"
"-no, no, no- wait yes, actually."
You groan. "Seriously?"
"Yes," Selene says. "Apparently it's a source of entertainment for a certain section of the audience to read about the goddess of chastity that actual people worship, mind you, giving up her vow to do the deed with a random teenager."
"Yeah," continues Amber, "despite everything she stood for. Her hunt was literally a safe space for girls and young women. Any woman regardless of sexual orientation could join her hunt as long as they took a vow of celibacy. Their main objective was to protect the young girls from being sold or married off to abusive men against their will, since the position of women in the society back then was, uh... not great."
"I know that, I'm supposed to be y/n. I am blessed by all the gods of all the pantheons. Which means I was blessed by quite a few deities of wisdom."
"Artemis didn't create the hunt just because she was aro and ace. She started it because she hated how badly women were treated in the society." Selene says.
"Yeah, duh, I know," you say, rolling your eyes (orbs) for the fiftieth time. Because that's what good (y/n)s do and to be honest, the author is seeming very cliche by making you do these unnecessary actions right now.
Okay, now the author is telling you to shut up and continue being a good y/n, but you're a rebellious teenager who will rip apart-
Anyway.
"Then you also know that she protected her followers from misogyny, and not because she disliked the idea of love," Amber says.
"Yeah, as I said, like, a billion times before, I was blessed by a few gods of wisdom," you say. The orbs are also rolled once more.
"Then why do you persistently continue writing Chaos and Guardian of the Hunt fanfictions?" Selene inquires.
"Because I like fixing what other fanfic authors wrote horribly. There is no romance in mine," you say. "Wait have you actually read mine before you started flinging wild accusations about me not caring for women and LGBTQ+ rights?"
"No, why would we, most fanfictions are cliche and usually just repeat the same thing over and over, so we assumed yours did too," Amber says
"Well, if you had read it, then you would know that. I believe that Rick himself did both the lesbians and the aro/ace folks a little dirty. He thought, Oh, Artemis swore off men? Great, now she will be a "feminist" and consider guys as the scum of the earth and also dislike all sorts of romance! And then proceed to kick out lesbians from her little cult despite it being a safe space for all women!"
You take a deep breath, despite your hatred for oxygen that you always state while making out with your hot boyfriends, and continue, "Plus, a-specs (A-spectrum; umbrella term for all identities on the asexual and aromantic spectrum) are a-specs! They don't necessarily have to be hunters! Name one main female character above the age of thirteen that was neither paired off with someone nor forced to join the hunters because she didn't seem to be interested in looking for a potential partner. I'll wait."
Silence.
Just as you thought.
Or maybe they're just scared of me because my level of quirkiness is too much for them.
"Of course, you can be ace or aro/ace or anywhere on the a-spectrum and join the hunters. You can be sapphic and join the hunters. Hell, you can be straight and join the hunters. The only thing you need to keep in mind is whether or not you want to accept temporary immortality and swear off men. That's it," you take another deep breath because taking deep breaths might just be your new superpower now, and continue, "I tried to fix whatever wrongs Rick did in my writing. Although, whatever he did there does not mean we disrespect their sexualities."
Selene and Amber look at each other and then say together. "Okay then. Today you have proved that not all fanfictions are cliche and some are actually good. And we also realised we currently sound like an informational YouTube video targeted towards five-year-olds, with a moral and a happy ending."
"Of course I did. And of course you do," you say and sassily flip your hair because that's only reserved for very cool and quirky (y/n)s such as yourself.
"Well then do you want to get some falafels and talk about everything Rick wrote badly about in his book?" Amber asks.
"Of course," you reply and walk off arm-in-arm out of the dungeons in style with your new bestie babes, as the (y/n)s like to call it.
