Welcome to this book by @Bookfunreader123 and @riptide2406, also known as Amber and Selene. This is our special place where we roast every overused Riordanverse fanfiction trope available and write horrible cliché fanfiction to prove a point. If you...
-Yeah, Rick made her have "cinnamon hair" and "gold eyes" but is it okay to give her dark eyes and dark hair if you want to? Yes. Absolutely. Please do.
(Obviously, we're not saying you can't have cinnamon hair but if the only black female character is given such eurocentric features to seem "cooler", it doesn't make much sense.)
-GODS DON'T HAVE DNA, so Hazel isn't mixed. You can't give that as an excuse to describe her with lighter skin or make her have loose curls or anything. (AND, technically proves that she shouldn't have gold eyes but that's just RR momentarily losing brain cells while writing)
-Using food to describe her features is just... no. It dehumanizes her. Just don't do it. She's not hot cocoa, shut up.
-Her hair is not the loose curls you get from your cheap hair curler sitting at home while pretending to make a YouTube hair tutorial in your broken mirror.
Her hair is coily and is very different from other hair types. You can't brush it without a leave-in or holding gel and it always needs to be wet to be styled. You probably won't be able to put up your hair without an unholy amount of gel and an impossible grip strength.
-She's not as much of a "cinnamon roll" as you like to believe. She has cursed, does curse (not as much as Arion, but yes), and she can and will kill you without hesitation.
-Unrelated but Pluto (or Hades) does not look like Hitler and we will ignore whatever Rick said about Hazel comparing her father to him for the rest of eternity thank you 🥰
• AGE GAP DISCOURSE
-Okay technically, TECHNICALLY, Hazel and Frank only have a 1.5-2 year age gap, Rick just can't do math to save his life, which is why it usually looks like they're 3-4 years apart at first glance.
-HOWEVER, when YOU write them in, don't age down Frank to 13/14 and then force them both into a relationship. Make Hazel around the same age as him instead. [This case applies when you're trying to stick to canon ages in your fanfic]
-[If you're writing them as younger than their canon ages and it's an AU] Don't unnecessarily force them into a relationship. Crushes/friendship is cool.
-[If you're writing them as slightly older than their canon ages] Please do make them in the same age group to avoid confusion/more discourse.
-We hope we can all just silently agree not to have Annabeth get jealous of Hazel over Percy because Hazel's just 13-14 and Percy's like 17, thank you.
• HISTORY/BACKGROUND
-Hazel suffered a lot, not only as a demigod but also as a woman of colour during the 30s/40s (and there was her mother too, of course). Please don't invalidate her trauma just to bring characters like Percy or Annabeth even more attention (we all know why it's done, subconscious or not). We've had enough of that in Heroes of Olympus.
-Since she is from Louisiana, include some of the foodstuffs from there that she would like to eat too, you know, like, alligator bites, crawfish, beignets, cornbread, shrimp and grits, to name a few.
• SOULMATE FICS
(A/N hey my exploding cathedrals!!!!!! So I know I've done too many chapters on Percabeth bcoz duh they're my favvvv and y'all crave more but I'm gonna be focussing on FRAZEL tdy!!! YAY!!!!!! They're both my cinnamon roll babies and i will hurt anyone who comes near them)
Hazel was in art class drawing a horse and Frank had also taken art because his soulmate tattoo was a sketchpad.
Then the scene changed and Percabeth came into view. (A/N AAAAHHH, my favourite!!!!!!!!!!!)
All the development that Frazel was about to get went to Percabeth. Then Frazel disappeared never to be seen or heard from again, except one tiny line about them smooching and getting together that no one really cares about minus two or three people in the comment section.
For all we know Frank and Hazel could be living on the north pole as polar bears.
• FANFICS WITH PEOPLE CURSING
Nico and Percy came into the room yelling at each other. Percy yelled, "WHERE THE FU-"
"LANGUAGE!" Hazel screamed from the other end of the planet. Captain America gave her a thumbs up, after which she had a minor existential crisis for existing alongside another fandom.
Then Piper ran after Drew yelling "GET BACK HERE WITH MY HOT BF YOU BACKSTABBING, LOATHSOME LITTLE BI-"
"OH MY GOD PIPES, LANGUAGE!" Hazel turned completely red and started fanning her face aggressively.
Leo entered and stubbed his toe on a dresser and started swearing furiously in a weird mix of English and Spanish.
Hazel turned into a tomato and dramatically died as she was allergic to swear words.
