Welcome to this book by @Bookfunreader123 and @riptide2406, also known as Amber and Selene. This is our special place where we roast every overused Riordanverse fanfiction trope available and write horrible cliché fanfiction to prove a point. If you...
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[Ship of the Dead spoilers]
• APPEARANCE (and other general stuff)
-He's the only Riordanverse blonde boy with grey eyes (NOT blue). Please. Don't confuse him with Will. Or Jason. Or Luke. Or even Octavian.
(Honestly, they might just be clones of each other at this point)
-Keep in mind that if you're writing about Sword of Summer Magnus, he was a Kurt Cobain wannabe. Basically, you need to describe Kurt Cobain but add some falafels here and there, along with some altruism for spice.
Post the haircut in Hammer of Thor his hair is comparatively shorter and his character also changes a little.
-He has canonically cursed (but it had to be filtered, because, you know, kids.) He has also canonically flipped off Surt while falling to his death.
Did we surprise you all who keep saying that he's a "cInNaMoN rOlL wHo cAn'T cUrSe UwU"?
-"OH mY gOdS iMaGiNe iF hE aNd pErCy mEt. tHeY'd hAvE a hUgE wAr oVeR tHe cOlOuR bLuE tHaT mIgHt sTaRt tHe nExT aPoCaLyPsE!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Have you ever thought about how you keep saying that you "respect everyone's opinions" yet still go ahead and talk about this? As if liking or disliking a colour is a crime now???
-"hIs fAvOuRiTe cOlOuR iS yElLoW bEcAuSe hE's tHe sOn of fReY XP"
You know, you really hurt beige and black's feelings. Especially beige. They seem ready to attack you.
Run while you can.
They're coming.
And they won't stop.
They have grenades.
And hot lady swords.
Fear the hot lady swords.
-Magnus is canonically fair at sword fighting. Keyword: Fair. Jack does most of the fighting for him. So no, he is not a fighting guru.
• MORTAL AU
-Welcome back to another episode of "Where The Frigg Did My Platonic Relationships Go?".
-He is always a famous poet. (Guess the Mead of Kevin finally kicked in.)
-Proper personality? Gone.
Trauma? Invalidated.
The fact that he's not comfortable with physical contact a lot? Ignored.
Consent? In Atlantis.
Sarcasm and sass? Dead.
Hotel? Valhalla.
-While he tends to obsess over falafels a lot in the original books, he does eat other food (cue the shocked gasps).
-Our favourite blondie here does not drink. He did try alcohol once, threw up, tried it again and threw up once more. (RIP the drunk!Magnus AUs).
• MORTALS MEET DEMIGODS
-And yeah, the totally original popular girl calls Samirah a terrorist, is transphobic towards Alex and the boys defend their honours as if the amazing children of Loki can't do it themselves.
-She thinks all the males (minus Alex when he identifies as one) are hot and should be dating her. She has dated "all da boyz in da world" apart from them and dumped them like a day later because she's a "heartbreaker 🤪🥵😩👏".
-She loves asserting the fact that you, the reader, must know her because if you don't, you're living under a rock. (The rock giants are not happy with this, okay?)
• RELATIONSHIP WITH ALEX FIERRO (AKA ADDRESSING THE FANDOM pt.2)
(This is an obligatory section.)
(Since it was requested. Like, multiple times.)
(Don't worry though, the last chapter of this book will be the final 'addressing the fandom' where we talk about everyone.)
(...probably.)
-It's clearly been mentioned that he doesn't always get Alex's pronouns right. Just most of the time.
-Let's make this clear.
THIS is Percy and Annabeth (and almost all other Riordanverse couples), like 90% of the time:
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(Art credit: @art.burgyy on Instagram)
And THIS is Magnus Chase:
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(-Rick Riordan, The Ship of the Dead)
-While Alex truly does have a lot of trauma and Magnus comforts her (which is fine) but Magnus has his own trauma as well!
He's also (part) human!! (Well, a dead one but you get our point)
Yes, he's a ray of sunshine but that doesn't make his life all cupcakes and rainbows!!
He's one of the most self-deprecating protagonists in the Riordanverse!!! (he didn't even think Alex liked him romantically even after she kissed him. That's not being oblivious, that's being extremely insecure and not ready to believe that he's worth the love.)
And on that wonderful note, we have reached the end of our comparatively short chapter. Until next time (which is basically if and when we figure out what the next chapter should be)!
