Second Chance

Chapter 85

"Uhhh....what?" I question, taking my turn to now goggle at them.

"That's right, I'm actually a dude." James/Jamie confirms, smirking at me. "At least, I was, when we were first dropped here. About a year in, however," He/she sends a sharp look over at Jasper, who still looks thoroughly guilty. "this dumb shank got me killed. Luckily, with both got ourselves mind chips at that time, so he was able to put me into another body. Apparently though, my dear brother is not very good at going body shopping, since he stuck me with a goddamn girl!"

"Hey, she was the only one available at the time." Jasper defends, raising his hands in mock surrender. "At least I actually cared enough to save you though, I could have just left you dead, but I didn't."

Surprisingly, James/Jamie's gaze softens, and he/she says, "This life has changed both of us, dude. For the better."

Jasper grins at him/her. "Yeah, because now you actually accept me as your brother."

"Okay, I hate to break this up," I cut in impatiently. "but what exactly does all of this have to do with me?"

The siblings turn their attention on me again, and Jasper gives me a mildly surprised look. "Don't you know? This is your second chance, Justin. You need to make things right with yourself and the people around you that you've hurt."

"Well, I think I've done a pretty tip top job of that, since I have certainly gotten closer with Morgan, I've apologized to Alex for killing her boyfriend who she doesn't even remember, and I've resurrected Maria. So I think I deserve a gold star from the universe now." I say confidently.

"Okay, that's great." James/Jamie says, nodding his/her head. "Now you got to work on yourself and your fucked up personality."

"Hey, ouch." I say indignantly, scowling at him/her. "There's nothing wrong with my personality. I'm totally awesome."

"No. You're a dick." James/Jamie states bluntly.

"Oh great, are you going to haunt me with the ghosts of the past, present and future? I'm sure that will go over well." I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"See, that's what we mean. You may have already made peace with the people around you, but you haven't yet made peace with yourself. You're still hurting, Justin, and you need to let that self hate go." Jasper says gently, giving me a pitying look that I absolutely despise.

"You have no idea how much I have fucked up in the past, and I am going to continue to fuck up in the present and future, so there's no point in forgiving myself for everything little mistake I've done. I don't give a shit about this whole peace and love thing. It's not my style, and it's never going to be my style. I'm always going to be an arrogant dick, and I'm fine with that. It's about time that the people around me learn to be fine with that too." I growl, glaring at both of them. I then get up and storm towards the door, but before I can leave, James/Jamie calls to me one last time.

"Wait! In your old life, did you know someone named Charles Copperton?" He/she asks urgently.

I give him/her a mildly surprised look. "Yeah, actually. He was the principal of the high school I went to. He's kind of old though, but that's probably because we all jumped one hundred and fifty years or so. I don't know, it's complicated, but yeah I knew him."James/Jamie looks dazed by this information, so I take this time to get out. Before I leave the room, however, I turn back to him/her and say. "Oh, and if you want to look more like a guy, I suggest cutting your hair."

—-

A few hours later, we sort everything out, and we're allowed to stay for a while. Luckily, Morgan and Jasper have forgiven each other, and even James/Jamie has taken an interest to Alex. I wonder if he/she is going to tell Alex that Jamie is actually James in a girls body, or if that would be too weird. In a world like this though, nothing seems to be too weird. Plus, it would be nice to use one pronoun for him, and call him by his real name, so I'm not trying to figure out if I should call him 'he' or 'her', or James or Jamie.

When it gets closer to night, Morgan visits me in the bedroom that I have claimed. I'm not really doing anything right now, besides laying on the bed and staring at the ceiling, so it's nice to actually talk to someone. "Hey, so Jasper and I are going to go out to the bay looking for some fish for dinner. I would offer you to come, but he wants to catch up with me, and it would be less awkward if it was just us two." She explains, looking apologetic and guilty.

"That's fine." I shrug. "What's a relationship without trust, right?"

Apparently I'm not being nice enough or something, as Morgan sits down beside me and gives me a calculating look. "Are you okay?" She asks, which is irritating.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I sigh exasperatedly. "It's just that the wonder twins gave me this boring speech about how to be a decent human being, opposed to a self centred prick, which is what I am."

"Well, they're not wrong." Morgan says slowly. "If I'm being honest, you are not the nicest person in the world."

"Thanks, Morgan. I appreciate your honesty." I say dryly, although I don't know if I'm being sarcastic or not.

"This life is your second chance though, so maybe you should-" I already know she's going to start this stupid rant again on how to be a better person, but I am so sick of people telling me what to do all the fucking time!

"Stop." I demand, sitting up and scowling at her. "Don't tell me how to live my life. So many different people are telling me what to do. Especially you! And you need to fucking stop because it's getting really fucking annoying. So for once in your life, please just shut the fuck up!"

After I'm done yelling at her, she gets up and backs away from me, blinking repeatedly. Now I've made her cry again. Great. "Fuck you." She finally hisses, then whirls around and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

It takes a moment for what I just said to sink in, and I immediately feel immensely guilty. Morgan has helped me through so much in so many different ways, and here I am kicking her to the ground every time. What the fuck is wrong with me?