"So, what's the tea? Umiyak ka sa harap niya?". Usisa ni Cassandra habang kausap ko siya sa telepono, nasa condo lang ako dahil wala kaming lipad ngayon.
"Unfortunately, yes". I replied.
I heard her sigh, "I mean, gets naman kita, bes. I just feel so bad for you, the choice that you choose was hurting you both". Her words acted like a bullet that strikes me through.
Tama naman si Cassandra, it was my choice. Pinili kong saktan siya kahit pa sabihing kong ginawa ko din iyon para sa kaniya, I am still wrong.
"I'm sorry, alam kong ayaw mo na napapasama ang loob namin pero ayaw ko lang naman kasing mahirapan ka. I went through that, remember? But our tables were different, ako yung pinilit kumawal at ikaw naman ang pumilit sa kaniya". I went silent because I felt like she still wants to continue her words.
And I am right, "I was in Grey's shoes that time, Jai. Sobrang sakit kasi pilit mo pang sinasalba eh, you're still trying to win him or her kahit masakit na, kahit ramdam na namin na kumakawala na kayo...".
Nagpakawala ng isang malalim na paghinga si Cassandra sa kabilang linya na nagpabigat lalo ng damdamin ko.
She's still in pain and my situation is making it worse.
"Sobrang hirap kumapit sa totoo lang kasi alam kong bumitaw na siya nun eh, ako na lang mag-isa ang sumusubok at nagmamahal. Kaya naiintindihan ko kung bakit ganun na lamang ang lamig ng mga mata ni Grey, Jai. But I knew your side and for me, you need to free yourself na".
Parang may tumusok na karayom sa puso ko, ganun din ba ang naramdaman niya? Does he cry every night like how Cassandra did? Does he also hope that I'll be back knocking on his door?
Dahil kung oo, pipilitin ko ng kalimutan siya. Ayoko ng saktan pa siya, he went through a lot and that road he walked through is rougher than the other's road.
Ayoko ng sirain siya ulit.
Huminga ako ng malalim at nagtalukbong muli sa kumot, unti-unti ng tumulo ang mga luha ko.
"D--dapat pala hindi na lang ako nakipagkita sa mama niya noon, dapat pala nanatili na lang ako sa tabi niya noong mga panahon na nahihirapan siya". I have so much regrets and I don't know how to make them right.
Cassandra sighed on the other line, "I'm sorry, Jai. I am just trying to let you know the other side kahit hindi ko alam ang mga bagay na napagdaanan din ni Grey noong wala ka, I am really sorry".
"It's not your fault, thank you for letting me realize that hoping for us to be back in each others' arms was like finding a needle in a stack of hay". It's impossible.
"Don't lose hope, kung kayo talaga. Kayo at kayo pa din sa huli, love you, girl". Aniya.
"I love you too, thank you sa time, girl". Mahina kong wika.
"Oo naman, we always got your back". Nagpaalam na siya sa akin dahil kailangan na daw niya mag-rounds, ibinaba ko ang telepono ko sa gilid ng unan ko at pumikit ng mariin.
It's been 2 years pero ganun pa din, siya pa din.
Siya pa din pero mukhang hindi na ako.
Tears started to flow from my eyes, bakit ba kasi masyado kitang mahal, Atenean ka? Bakit mahal pa din kita kahit sa tingin ko ay wala ng pag-asa yung tayong dalawa?
And I remember his words before we parted ways, 'Pangako, Jai... Ikaw lang ang mamahalin ko hanggang sa huli so, if you want to come back to me. Please don't hesitate'.
BINABASA MO ANG
My Greatest Downfall (Us Against The Fate Series #2)
Teen Fiction(Us Against The Fate Series #2) When everything around us falls apart, should we keep on holding into each other's hands? I am the reason for his sudden change, I am the reason behind those genuine smiles but what if staying beside you and holding...
