Rejection is a city in my mind,
filled with long, winding roads,
dark alleys and hidden streets,
teeming with forgotten memories
and inhabited by one dying soul.
One by one,
the lights on the corners flicker and burn out,
leaving most of the city engulfed in a more tangible gloom--
because love is what makes the lamps burn.
Sometimes,
when I walk through the city of rejection,
erected in my own mind,
rain pours down upon me,
running down the sides of the buildings
puddling on the ground,
and staining every living thing.
I remember when we visited the city,
when this place was full of life.
I spent my life in the suburbs,
so the city was loud, exciting and inviting.
People were everywhere,
and children could be seen
darting between buildings or playing on the road,
drawing hearts and smiles and 'forevers' on the sidewalks.
But now, as my feet walk the muddy streets
through the city in the rain,
my mind wanders through rejection,
I realize 'forever' was drawn in chalk.
The threads of reality disintegrate as my two worlds overlap,
and all I can see is pain and my own suffering.
which walks like a shadow beside me,
still enough to seem harmless,
but alive enough to strangle me the moment I turn away.
The beggars and memories linger in the darkness,
covered in rags and hurt,
and fix me with their piercing gazes--
I have to look away.
But I can still see your smile in my mind,
and it transfixes me;
you still leave me breathless.
Your words play over and over in my mind,
and I retreat within myself to catch my breath
as reality cuts my heart with daggers of lies;
I wander endlessly and aimlessly
down the dark corridors between the skyscrapers,
seeking a celestial set of stairs--
anything to get me out of this hell,
not realizing that being alone in my head comforts me
in a strange and twisted way.
Leaving means saying goodbye forever,
and I haven't found the strength yet.
