I never realized
that I was bottling up everything inside.
I never wanted to talk to anyone,
and I thought that if I ignored it,
I could pretend it didn't exist.
I never realized
how amazing it felt to let go--
to erase the longings from my mind,
the hopes that someday,
it would all turn out,
and you would love me like you pretended you did.
I never realized I was clenching my fists,
cutting off the feelings,
and turning my knuckles white,
essentially numbing my heart.
God, it felt good to let you go,
and live for myself again.
