Lying here,
the world goes by without me.
My eyes are closed,
but I can feel the world around me.
I hear voices,
whispering,
yelling,
screaming,
and I am powerless to respond.
I feel hands touching me,
holding my hand,
moving my body,
but I can't move.
My body is dead,
but my mind.....
it's very much alive.
I can feel the tubes in my throat,
hear the monitors beeping,
feel the hospital band cutting into my wrist.
And I feel the minutes,
hours,
days,
weeks,
years,
go by.
But Time has no hold on me,
and my mind drifts and wanders to new heights--
places I've never been before,
dreams I've never dreamed before,
things I've never hoped before.
Then one day,
I hear the voices of my family,
tear-strained and heavy,
all gathered around me,
and my mind wakes up to their sounds,
pulling me out of my dreams.
I'M IN HERE!
I'M AWAKE!
But no one hears me.
"Just do it."
I hear my mother's voice,
and I am filled with a fear I never imagined possible
as the machine that breathes for me stops--
and I gasp for air without moving,
struggle for breath without breathing.
I'M STILL ALIVE!!
But I can't scream.
All I can do is fall into nothingness,
and blackness consumes me.
