selfish?

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it's the literal emptiness in the pit of my stomach again.

no matter how many people surround me,

i always manage to feel alone.

tomorrow this time my house will be filled with people congratulating me on graduating,

and now i don't want to see a single one of them.

what's wrong with me?

why do i always feel so alone?

sometimes i can push it away and forget--

maybe for hours,

days,

weeks,

and i almost forget it's there.

almost.

but it always finds me in the worst times.

i just want to fit in.

i just want to belong.

this might be selfish,

but this weekend is supposed to be about me,

and--

i just feel like i'm being left out.

everything's going wrong,

and nobody has asked about me.

but life goes on,

it always has,

and i just stand still in the current,

and watch everyone else move downstream to better lives--

cemented where i stand.

is it so much to ask to be noticed?

is it so much to ask to be included?

is it so much to ask to be loved?

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