it was that kinda awkward moment when i wanted to say goodbye but didn't know how.
because i still don't know what you do to me.
your mom and your sister were watching us, kinda expecting it, but i didn't want to make the first move because i wasn't sure what you would go for.
then you stepped forward and wrapped me in a quick embrace-- just long enough to envelope me in the smell of your cologne and our few but precious memories, and then it was over.
and you were gone.
the rational side of me scoffs at these feelings of abandonment and loneliness you seem to have left me with--
you're not even that close--
scoffs at the way that i hate that you're leaving me--
he's not even going to miss you--
scoffs at the way my heart broke when i said "don't be a stranger" and you promised you won't be but you will--
he'll never even notice you're gone.
no matter how good your intentions are,
you're going to change.
you're too fun and outgoing not to make friends and be bold and brave.
i've lost too many people to college to believe otherwise.
i'll see your face at night after i close my eyes,
but it's not the same.
dreaming about you doesn't compare.
i already miss you--
your laugh,
your smile,
the way your eyes light up,
and how you always make people laugh.
but i'm already dreading you coming home--
because you'll be a different person,
no matter what you say,
and that will break me.
