Wreck (Royal Series #4) COMPLETED

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Thirteen

Reflection

"I... I don't know, Kuya. Really, I have no idea," mahina kong tugon sa tanong niya. "Maybe I don't want to corrupt his niceness. I don't want him to change, I guess."

Tumango si Kuya Vince sa akin. "Sean is the epitome of compassion... empathy. Doon siya naging kilala, unlike his brothers, he isn't ruthless when it comes to decision-making. Masyado siyang mapagbigay at mabait kaya inaabuso."

Agree. He is too good to be true.

"But you want to know the funny thing? The reason behind this marriage." Kuya Vince asked and I can't help but be curious.

I don't have any idea why they agreed to this chaotic agreement in the first place. They have all the resources that they need kaya hindi ko alam anong makukuha nila kapalit ng kasal namin ni Sean. For me, honestly, there is nothing they could get. We're currently striving kaya wala kaming maiaambag sa South Clan.

Kuya Vince casually laid his back and crossed his legs. "His family agreed to this marriage in the hopes that once Sean is exposed to harsh reality he will toughen up."

That's... it? Iyon lang ang rason nila? It only shows that they are not in need like us, gusto lang nila magiging matatag si Sean at hindi palaging nadadala ng emosyon. 

How ironic. 

Mas lalo lang niyang pinapairal ang emosyon at damdamin niya sa pananatili niya dito sa amin. I admit that it's my fault dahil hinahayaan ko siya tulad ng sabi ni Kuya Vince. But my resolve stays the same... wala akong gagawin para magbago si Sean. Kung gusto niya baguhin sarili niya, it would be his own decision.

"And I'm doing the exact opposite," sagot ko kay Kuya Vince.

He nodded. "At least you know."

"But what can I do really, Kuya Vince? I don't want him to change because of the circumstance we are in. Hindi dapat ganoon. Kung magbabago siya dapat sa oras na tingin niya ay makakabuti sa kaniya, hindi para sa atin."

"Didn't you care about him that much, Blaire Magdalene."

Parang napipi ako sa naging sagot ni Kuya Vince sa akin. I didn't realize that until he said it. I cared for Sean... kaya hindi ko siya magawang pilitin sa bagay na hindi naman niya gusto. 

Because in my eyes, Sean is the purest and most real human. And I don't him to lose that trait of his, because that's who he is. 

"Hmm..." Kuya Vince hummed and avoided my gaze. "Tell me, Blaire Magdalene."

"What?" 

Then he smirked when he returned his gaze on me. "Do you like Sean?"

Nanlaki ang mata ko sa tanong niya. Pakiramdam ko ay biglang nanlamig ang katawan ko at parang gusto ko na lang tumakbo palabas ng kwarto para iwasan ang tanong niya.

That... never occurred to me. 

Alam ko na may iba akong nararamdaman sa kaniya pero hindi ko kailanman inisip na aabot doon. I just thought I cared for him... that I wanted to take care of him para hindi siya magsisi sa gulong pinasok niya. 

Compensation - iyon ang naiisip kong dahilan bakit iba ang turing ko sa kaniya. I am not naive when it comes to feelings kaya alam kong higit sa kabutihan ang pinaparamdam ko sa kaniya. 

Is it really because I liked him? 

Iyon ba talaga? How come it never crossed my mind? 

"And now you are analyzing yourself. Don't tell me you didn't know that you have that kind of emotion for him?"

Napabalik ang tingin ko kay Kuya Vince dahil sa tanong niya. When he looked at me in the eyes, I know he found the answer. Napabuntong hininga siya at sapat na iyon para malaman ko na nakuha niya ang nais kong iparating.

"How... how did...how would you know if you like someone, Kuya Vince?"

Hindi siya agad sumagot sa akin at parang iniisip ang dapat na sabihin sa akin. I know it's a bad move to open this up but he is the only person I know I could ask about this. 

"With Amara..." he sighed and gave me a small smile. "Everything is easy as breathing. Her feelings for me came to my knowledge at an early age but I doubted it because she's Amara. But when the time came and I was tested if I like her... I just found myself answering the question."

"You see, Blaire. Like and love... those emotions... it's hard to define and point out. It will come to you naturally kaya hindi mo pwedeng pilitin ang sarili mo na sagutin ang tanong na iyon. Otherwise, it will come out forced and half-baked."

I pouted at him. Siya kaya ang nagsimula! "But you were the one who asked me!"

Natawa siya saglit bago sumeryoso. The way he looked at me scared me a bit but I felt like his stare was not meant for me. It was for someone else. Lilingon pa lang sana ako sa likod pero nagsalita na siya.

"Because I can see it in your eyes, Blaire. The way you look and the way you talk about him. It's not just simple care... there's more to it. But the question is... are you ready to find it out?"

The truth is... I'm terrified once I face the answer I was looking for. I am afraid that I love him to the extreme and forget my responsibilities. I am afraid that I love too much and disregard my own. I am afraid that I love so bad and bury my own for his sake.

Because looking at it now... the way I shield him... the way I protect him... and the way I deprive myself of something... it will be fast as lightning to reach that point. Kaya natatakot ako kasi hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko kapag dumating na sa punto na iyon. 

Sean... he will surely be my downfall. 

"Take your time, Blaire. No one is rushing you to answer the question. Let time give you the answers you were looking for."

Nanghihinang napasandal ako sa upuan. Pakirdamdam ko ay napagod ako sa pag-uusap namin. It's draining me mentally. Kaya hindi ko namalayan ang luha na tumulo sa mata ko kung hindi lang pinunasan ni Kuya Vince. I didn't even notice that he stood up and wipe my tears away.

"Blaire, calm down. Don't push yourself too much."

Tinapik-tapik niya ang ulo habang nakaupo sa arm rest ng couch. "I think it's more than like, Kuya Vince..."

Huminto ang galaw niya sa ibabaw ng ulo ko pero tumuloy ito matapos ang ilang segundo. "How do you say so?"

"Because I can't explain what I'm feeling for him," I answered. "You're right, Kuya. I know it's more than care towards the person who saved our clan but I don't want to acknowledge it because I'm scared."

"Then take all the time you need to ready yourself to embrace that emotion." Tumango ako sa sinabi niya at tumahan. 

When I calmed down, I looked at the door and noticed that it was slightly ajar. Matagal akong napatitig doon kaya nagulat ako nang bumakas iyon ng tuluyan at pumasok si Sean. Napaawang din ang bibig niya nang makita ang ayos namin ni Kuya Vince. 

Mabilis akong tumayo mula sa kinauupuan at humarap sa kaniya . 

"Uhm, am I interrupting something?" Sean asked carefully. 

Iiling pa lang sana ako pero naunahan ako ni Kuya Vince sumagot. "Actually yes, we were busy, Your Majesty," he said smugly.

And for the first time, I saw Sean clenching his jaw so hard that his angel-like feature disappeared.

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