Wreck (Royal Series #4) COMPLETED

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

Surrender

White. Iyon agad ang sumalubong sa akin pagmulat ng mata ko. I know exactly where I am. Sa ilang araw na pamamalagi ko sa tabi ni Sean noong hindi pa siya gumigising ay kabisado ko na ang itsura ng isang kwarto ng ospital.

I held my stomach and remembered the pain I felt earlier. Halos panawan na ako ng ulirat sa sakit non pero wala parin akong ideya kung bakit. Pakiramdam ko dahil iyon sa stress na nararanasan ko nitong nakaraan, sunod sunod ang mga problema kaya nagkaganon ako.

Hindi naman iyon ang unang pagkakataon.n  Back when I was still studying, sumasakit din paminsan-minsan ang tiyan ko dahil sa stress ng training at pag-aaral. Kaya malaki ang tyansa na ganon din ngayon.

I am alone in this four-cornered room. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagpunta si Kuya Vince pero base sa pag-aalala niya sa akin kanina, hindi na ako magugulat kung tinawagan na niya sila Mama. It will be his first move, of course.

I stared at the decoration in front of me. It is a huge photograph of vast of flowers. Sinakop non ang gitnang parte ng kwarto kaya iyon ang kaharap ko ngayon. At sa baba nito ay isang sofa set na walang tao pero may mga gamit. 

They are here. 

I recognized my mother's purse and my father's coat on the side of the couch. Mukhang may pinuntahan sila at iniwan ako dito sa isipin na hindi pa ako magigising. I tried to stand up pero masyadong magaan ang ulo ko, parang babagsak ako sa sahig kapag tinuloy ko ang balak.

That's why instead of standing up, I remained sitting in my bed. I had a hard time fixing the inclined back rest pero buti na lang at nahanap ko kung paano. I don't want to lay down straight, it felt... awkward.

Natawa ako sa sarili kong iniisip. I just ended my connection with Sean just a few hours ago. Pero heto ako at kung ano ano na ang iniisip. I looked at my ring finger, suot ko parin ang singsing namin ni Sean. At wala akong balak tanggalin ito, I felt like bare if I don't have it with me.

Napatingin ako sa pinto nang bumukas iyon at pumasok ang mga magulang ko kasabay ni Kuya Vince at ng isang doctor. They were discussing something but stopped when they noticed I was up.

"Blaire!" Mother exclaimed and ran towards me to embrace me. I smiled at my cold father and wrapped my arms around my mother. 

When she pulled away, she fixed my hair like she always does. Then she looked at me in the eyes. May namumuo doon na luha sa hindi ko malaman na dahilan. "My brave girl..." she whispered.

"You're home," bati ko sa wakas.  Tumango siya sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko. Pansin ko na nakatitig siya sa tiyan ko kaya napatingin din ako doon. "Is... there something wrong? Sumakit lang tiyan ko kanina dahil sa stress tulad noon."

Mother heard me, for sure. But she didn't react or anything. Their stillness implies that there is something wrong. Mali ba ako? Normal lang naman na reaction ng katawan ko iyon kapag stressed.

"May I speak, Your Majesties?" My gaze transferred to the doctor who came inside with them. Mother sighed and stepped aside para makita ko ang doctor. 

"Go on," I urged.

The doctor clasped her hands in front of her before speaking. "Well... apparently, you are mistaken, Your Majesty. It is because of stress but it's not just a simple stomach cramp," she paused and handed me the clipboard she was holding.

"You are actually pregnant, Your Majesty."

My mouth went gape... hindi ako makapagsalita. I... am what? Pregnant? I looked around to check their reaction, hoping to see a positive one, pero wala akong nakita. It seems like they are all so down by the news.

I looked at the doctor in confusion. My family should be celebrating! May anak na ako! They should be jumping out of joy and crying in happiness. Pero bakit... hindi ko maintindihan.

"The thing is... the baby is weak, Your Majesty. The baby is in danger, the reason why you experienced the pain. It was like the baby is telling you that he or she might not survive if you keep on stressing yourself out."

The baby was holding onto me... but I didn't even know its existence. I was too stressed and preoccupied to even notice the changes in my body. And now the baby... the baby... is having a hard time. 

"So, I highly suggest taking a rest, Your Majesty. A real one. I may be overstepping my boundaries as the Royal Doctor but I think it is the best if you take your hands off from politics and issues, Your Majesty."

Napayuko ako at hindi nagsalita. I can't do what she is asking me. Wala ngayon si Sean kaya sino mamumuno sa amin? I just can't let my clan down. But I also can't lose my baby. 

Narinig ko ang pagpapaalam ng doctor bago kami naiwan ng pamilya ko. They were just staring at me, I can feel it. Kaya naman unti-unti akong nagtaas ng tingin sa kanila. My lips quivered again at the sight of them. 

Doon ko napagtanto kung gaano ako nangungulila sa kanila. I was trying so hard to keep my emotions under control, to not let anyone see my weak side, but seeing them... I felt like home. They are here... mas maganda sana kung nandito si Aivie para kumpleto na kami.

"I'm sorry... I wasn't able to keep Aivie inside the Palace..." tahimik kong sabi habang lumuluha. I felt like I failed them... I failed to be a righteous sister for Aivie. 

My Father was the one who made the first move, this time. Sa mabibigat niyang hakbang, mainit na yakap ang natanggap ko. I instantly melted into my father's embrace. Bihira lang niya kasi ako niyayakap and when he does... it is the best moment for me.

I am like my father... not expressive at all. But this time, he made me feel all his worries and love for me that I missed the whole time they were gone. He is letting his guard down, something he rarely does. 

"I know you did what you think is the best for her and we are not blaming you for anything, Blaire," he said and caressed my wet cheeks. 

"You actually made us proud, do you know that?"

Umiling ako sa tanong niya. "Of course, you don't. You always think lowly of yourself, doubting and depriving yourself of everything."

He chuckled and placed a kiss on my forehead. Napapkit ako sa sayang dulot non. He really is my best man, no one can surpass my Father. 

"We have our eyes on Vie and she's doing great, she coping and adapting very well," my mother said. "So now, I want you to take care of yourself, Blaire. You... shouldn't do that to yourself. You are a great woman and I know you will be a great mother as well."

"But the clan..."

Umiling siya sa akin. My Father tapped my hands. "We'll take it from here. I know... it's wrong to pass down to you the burden of leading a clan so let us correct our mistake and make it up to you."

"Blaire... I nurtured you to become an independent woman and I am so proud of what you've become. But please, don't deprive yourself to accept help... to accept the fact that even an independent person also needs someone to lean on. We are here for you, we are your family, Blaire. Don't shut us out, huh."

For years, I instilled in my mind that I could do it on my own, that I don't need anyone to pull me up when I'm down or to calm me down when I'm a mess. But Sean proved me wrong. Amidst the mess, he was there to offer comfort to me. He was there... waiting with his arms wide open.

He knew... that I also need someone to depend on, despite my independent attitude. But I was just too scared to let people see my weak side because I hate being pitied. I am too proud of myself that I don't want to accept any help from anyone.

But this time... I knew I needed help. And maybe this time, I could finally accept to myself that it's okay... to lean on someone... to accept help without the feeling of being a burden... and to acknowledge that fact that I screaming silently for help for years.

I slowly nodded at them, raising the white flag of surrender.

***

Didn't know I can write a chapter in a span of thirty minutes.