Wreck (Royal Series #4) COMPLETED

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Sea, Moon, and Stars.

"Are we going back to the palace?" Tanong ko kay Sean nang magsimula siyang mag-drive paalis sa lugar na pinuntahan namin kanina para makita ang sunset. He didn't reply and only showed his infamous smile.

Habang ang mata ay nasa harap, may inabot siya sa likod at nilapag sa lap ko. Nagulat ako nang makitang pagkain iyon. Kung hindi ako nagkakamali ay ito ang dinala ni Kuya Vince kanina para kila Dusk. 

I looked at Sean. "Bakit dala mo ito?"

"Dusk gave that to me before we left, I think it's for you because it can't be mine," he shook his head as if remembering bad memories with Dusk.

Tumango na lang ako sa kaniya at sinimulan ang pagbukas ng pagkain. It was sliced sandwiches but unlike the usual picnic food, it was chocolate-filled. I smiled as I ate it. I was actually relieved because I know if it is mayonnaise-filled, I would throw up... and Sean would question me.

Hindi ko naman nililihim sa kaniya ang kondisyon ko ngayon. I just want to tell him that when we are settled. He said his memories are back pero hindi niya sinabi na babalik siya kasama ko. That scared me. Ayaw ko din naman sumama siya dahil lang sa nalaman niya tungkol sa bata. I don't want to give my child a responsibility he or she don't deserve.

"Sean, do you know the way? We were travelling for a while now," sabi ko nang mapansin na hindi ko na makilala ang daan sa paligid.

"What? You think we are lost?" Tumango ako sa tanong niya. "We're actually here," sabi niya bago lumabas. 

It's dark outside pero naririnig ko ang tunog ng alon kaya alam ko nasa dagat kami. The cold breeze made me shiver in cold kaya hindi ko napigilan yakapin ang sarili ko. Sean parked the car in front of a building.

"Let's go," he said and guided me inside. The lobby inside the building is nice and clean. Dire-diretso lang siya ng pasok kaya nasasama ako sa kaniya dahil hawak niya ako. When he stopped in a particular room, he opened it with his key.

Pagkapasok ay alam ko na sa kaniya nga itong unit. It smelled like him, manly. The interior is mainly black and white. It's fully furnished and it's well-maintained. "Is this where you were staying the whole time?"

Tumango siya sa akin. "Technically, this is where I sleep. I don't really stay here because I am mostly outside."

Lumakad ako papasok at tinignan ang loob ng unit niya. It's really spacious, halatang hindi siya namamalagi dito dahil halos walang gamit. When I went to a corner, I noticed some papers posted on a wall. 

It was his notes... his memories, to be specific.

I looked at him in confusion. He stood up from his seat and went towards my place. I was just observing him, waiting for him to speak, when he took a deep breath and traced the notes with his fingers.

"It wasn't an easy journey... retrieving my memories. Despite the fact that I know I am married to you, I still want to retrieve the memories of us... being together. And I did, every time I remember something, I simply write it and post it in here. I thought that would help me remember my past faster."

"It didn't help?"

He shook his head. "Only a piece helped me. The one where I bought a pair of rings, that was the trigger." Kinuha niya ang piraso ng papel kung saan nakasulat ang sinabi niya. It was weeks before the accident,matagal na pala niya binili.

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I realized that he didn't give it to me right away. There must be a reason why he didn't do so.

I looked at the notes again, hoping to see an answer but there was none. The only thing that caught my attention was Dusk's name. I took it and gave it to him. "Why is... Dusk's name in here? You don't know him before..."

"But you do," sagot niya. "You actually know him very well, right?" His tone is insinuating something and I don't like where his tone is coming from.

He crumpled the piece of paper and distanced himself from me. He walked towards his balcony where we could see the dark sky and distant stars. I followed him even though I knew it will be a hell of a confrontation.

I should give him a break, we both should, but his tone suggests otherwise and I want to clear the issue up. 

"They say first love never dies, do you believe in them?" Sean asked while looking at the empty horizon in front of us.

I stood beside him, watching his every movement from taking a deep breath before asking me that question and clenching his jaw afterward. "I do believe them but it doesn't mean that your first love should be your only love. He could have that title but he also can't be the person you are in love with today."

"Right... why didn't I think of that?" He let out a small chuckle but I can't find it in me to be entertained. I can't read Sean's thoughts kaya hindi ko alam kung among tumatakbo ngayon sa isip niya.

I took courage and held his arm with my one hand. I just want him to look at me! Why... do I feel like there is still a wall between us? He recovered his memories but why do I feel like there is still something wrong?

"Sean..." I called him out.

He runs his fingers into his hair, making my hand resting on that arm fall. "When I heard that you and Dusk had a past, all I felt was rage. He was always there for you, he was right in front of me, yet I didn't even know. There's... there's a lot of doubts in my mind that time. I... wanted to shut them off and just forget, but I couldn't."

"Why didn't you tell me then? Why did you keep this all inside you? Why can't you tell me? Because Sean, I was just waiting for you to talk."

He chuckled again. "Coming from you, who was silent to everything?" He asked and faced me. "Let me repeat what you have just said, I also waited for you to speak up, Blaire. All this time, I was just there waiting, like a damn dog for its owner. But you chose to confide all your worries to people around you except your husband."

This is it... the problems that we set aside for a long time, it's finally coming up. These were the problems that we ignored despite knowing their existence because we were enjoying too much in the play that we had. 

"Do you know what I felt during those times when you are having a hard time yet you chose to keep your mouth shut in front of me and suffer alone? I questioned myself if I should still stay by your side when you were clearly doing well on your own."

"Blaire... I also wanted to be included in your life. I know I am just your husband in front... but did it ever occur to you that you are more than that to me? That you are part of my present and future?"

I slowly stepped forward in front of him and raised my hand to caress his cheeks. "I was never good at acknowledging my feelings... that's why I wanted to apologize if it took me a long time to actually realize what I have for you... but I really love you, Sean. It just so happen that it really wasn't in my plan that's why I had a hard time recognizing it."

"Do you know how much I longed for those words?" He exhaled and pulled me for a hug. Hindi ko alam kung bakit kahit unti-unti nanaming naayos ang lahat ay may mali parin. That made me tear up a bit because I already know the answer... I know what I should do.

I slowly removed the embrace and stared at him for a moment. I looked at his eyes and saw the doubts that he was trying to fight. It was still there, his reactions earlier show it all. 

"Why... are you staring at me like that?" He asked.

I smiled at him despite the tears in my eyes. "Because I want to engrave your face in my mind."

"Blaire..." mahinang tawag niya sa akin.

Inayos ko ang buhok niya na nagulo dahil sa hangin. I also took time caressing every part of his face. And I took time... feelings his warmth against me for the last time.

Binaba ko ang kamay ko at hinarap ang payapang dagat. I held on to the terrace as I gather my courage to let go of him again. 

"This place is nice but this isn't my place to stay. But this is your place, Sean. Your place to find the peace that you were trying to achieve. And I'm not gonna hinder you from doing that. This is where we separate once again, Sean."

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