Losing It ~ TeenWolf

Part 22

Charlotte

I woke up and I felt as if all of the energy had been taken from my body. The events of the night before hit me like a train when they came flooding back to me.

I just wanted to stay in bed and do nothing. I wish that I could just switch off my brain.

I could hear Liam shuffling around downstairs, he was getting ready for school. I could hear him putting books in his bag and then he put the bag down on the counter.

I pulled my blanket over my head and tried to block out the noise, it didn't really work.

"Bye Charlie." Liam called up the stairs. I hadn't realised the time.

I looked over at the clock on my side table and saw that it was 8:33, I would have to leave right then but I didn't feel like getting up so I pulled my covers tightly over my body.

The orange of my pill bottle caught my eye and I felt guilt hit my stomach as I realised that I didn't want to take them.

I felt my eyes begin to water as I turned my body around to face the wall.

Liam

I left the house after saying goodbye to Charlotte, I had no one to drive me but I figured that I could use a walk.

As I walked away from my house, I let myself think everything over.

Charlotte was a werewolf. That fact was probably the biggest on my mind, we hadn't had a new alpha in Beaconhills in almost four years. I hadn't considered the fact the Charlotte could be supernatural because I thought she would've told me.

Theo was also a heavy though on my mind. We had been going strong in our relationship for almost eight months and now I'd told him that I needed space which wasn't even true. I just needed a minute to think.

Scott was also on my mind. I didn't want him possibly challenging Charlotte because I didn't want to drive an even bigger wedge between us. I also didn't want either of them to get hurt.

I finally got to school and I sighed before walking in.

It felt so natural and normal compared to home. The atmosphere was easy and simple.

I spotted Stiles in the corner of my eye and immediately walked over to my locker to try and hide my face, turns out, it didn't work.

I heard his footsteps as he walked over to me and I could smell the anxiety radiating off of him.

"Hey.. um, Liam, where's Charlotte?" He asked.

"I didn't see her this morning and I didn't hear her get out of bed." I sighed.

"Well... is she ok?"

"I'm not sure." I closed my locker and looked at him. "You can go and see her if you want." I suggested and pulled my keys from my pocket. I handed them to Stiles and he smiled.

"Thank you." He walked past me and out of the building.

Charlotte

I was woken up by three loud knocks at the door. I closed my eyes and tried to fall back to sleep again.

Another series of knocking disturbed me once again.

I groaned loudly and stuffed my pillow over my head before my phone chimed loudly. I grabbed my phone and checked the screen. It was Stiles.

Stiles
Hey, I'm outside,
can you let me in? I need
to talk to you.
12:18 pm

I threw my phone to the bottom of my bed and closed my eyes again.

I didn't want to ignore Stiles but I couldn't get out of bed, I didn't have the strength to push myself off of my mattress.

I heard the front door open and I sighed.

"Charlotte?" Stiles called up the stairs.

I didn't answer him, I couldn't, my throat was dry and felt tight.

He started walking up the stairs and with each tiny creak of the floor boards, I felt myself growing weaker. I couldn't see him, I looked like shit, I felt like shit.

Even though my body was facing the wall, I could feel his stare on my back as he stood in the door way.

"Charlotte? Are you ok?" He asked as he walked over to me. He pulled out my desk chair and sat right next to my bed, I heard him shuffle with my pills before he sighed. "Did you take your meds today?"

I didn't answer, I felt ashamed.

"Come on, Charlotte, you need to take them, this can get really shitty if you skip." I could tell that a rant was coming. "Look, if this is about Liam, he'll be fine, he's strong, alright? He can get past this and he will because he loves you, he wants to protect you more than anyone else. He was so happy when you came, we could tell that something was going on with him because he was acting weirdly giddy but we never knew it'd be you."

"But... they make me feel numb.. it's like I can't be genuine cause my brain is all fucked up." I admitted.

"You feel better now?"

"Maybe not, but I feel like me.. like I used to."

"Used to?"

"When I was 14, just before I was sent away, my mother put me on all of these pills, granted - I needed them - but they kept me in line, I mean, before, I would do all of this crazy shit but then, I got so chilled and it was boring, then I became an alpha and I just missed that familiar feeling of freedom." I didn't dare look at him. I had always been bad at expressing my feelings but this felt even more personal, even deeper into my own fucked up head.

"Do you really feel that freedom now? I mean, I'm assuming you haven't left your bed all morning, you don't look like you could make it downstairs, let alone go out and have fun." What he said was harsh, but it was true and no matter how much it hurts, I cannot argue when someone tells me the truth.

"You know, I never had a childhood, my parents were abusive, drunk. I haven't had teenage years because I spend all my time thinking about my damn pack. The only life I ever had was before these meds when I was 11 or 12 years old, I can guarantee you that they were the best years of my life."

"You can't just come off your medication though, you need it, you can't sit here all day and do nothing."

I didn't say anything else, I had nothing that I wanted to say, I knew what I felt in my body, I knew that even though I was stuck to my bed, that was the first time in years that I felt genuine emotions that I couldn't feel on my antidepressants.

"Would you like me to leave?" With that one sentence, my entire stomach dropped, I felt guilty because I realised that, yes, I did want Stiles to leave. I wanted to be left on my own to deal with the shit going on.

I guess he understood my silence and he stood up and pushed chair back under my desk. He walked over to the doorway and I didn't know whether he looked over at me before leaving or even gave it a second thought but before I knew it, the front door was closing and tears formed in my eyes.