Losing It ~ TeenWolf

Part 33

Charlotte

As soon as I had swallowed the pills, I stared at all of them.

I could almost feel the bile rising up my throat, all I wanted to do was throw up. I felt violated, my body felt as if it wasn't mine, like I was borrowing someone else's.

I walked past them and brushed them off as they tried to speak to me and ask if I was ok.

Because I wasn't, my head was pounding and my eyes stung with tears.

I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, I closed the door after myself and walked over to my drawers, I pulled out a pair of joggers and a jumper, I walked into the bathroom and locked the door.

I took off my jeans and hoodie and threw them to the ground along with my underwear.

I looked in the full body mirror and a sob broke from my chest.

Over the last week and a half, I had eaten maybe three or four whole meals, and it definitely took its effect on me.

My hip bones stook out awkwardly and my collar bones, too. The bones in my arms, shoulders, legs and chest were all sticking out against my skin. My cheeks had hollowed and I looked completely emaciated.

The tears finally spilled from my eyes and I looked away from the mirror.

I turned on the water for the shower and waited until it warmed up before I stepped under it.

I pressed my back against the wall and my body slid down I sat on the tiled floor and sobbed.

I cried until my heart hurt and my throat was raw.

I stood up and washed my hair, the blood from my hair tainted the water.

I washed the soap from my hair and then turned off the water. I stepped out of the shower and looked in the smaller mirror, the blood from my face had been completely cleaned off and my hair was clean and smooth.

I walked over to my stack of drawers and opened the one that held my underwear, I pulled out a pair of boxer shorts that I had bought and I pulled them on. I put on my joggers and jumper, I didn't wear a bra as there was no point.

My mood had entirely changed after my shower, I was no longer strong or confident, I was broken and damaged.

I walked back into my room and pulled out some socks from my drawer before slipping them onto my feet.

I walked downstairs and into the kitchen, Stiles, Amy and Liam immediately stood up from the sofas and faced me. They all looked anxious and awkward.

"Hey, Charlie... are you ok?" Liam asked.

I didn't say anything, I wasn't ignoring him to be malicious I just didn't want to say anything to any of them.

"Um.. Theo, Cora and Fi had to leave, they had some things to do." Amy said, trying to make any kind of conversation.

I was picking at the skin of my fingers and staring down at my hands, I leant my back on the counter and I curled my toes painfully trying to make myself think of anything else other than them standing there.

I heard Stiles walk over to me and I moved away from the counter, turning so that my back was facing him as he came over to me, I heard him sigh slightly before he put his hands on my hips.

He pulled his hands back almost immediately, I was concerned, what could've scared him so much?

I turned around and he seemed pale in the face, something had scared him.

"You... you lost so much weight." His voice cracked and my heart almost shattered.

I already felt bad enough and now he had to point it out, I became even more body conscious.

He put his hand on my shoulder and his face softened slightly. "Here, sit down, ok?" He led me over to the island and I sat down. He sat me on the end of the island and I clasped my hands on top of the counter, I felt Liam's and Amy's stare on me but I didn't look at them. "I'm going to make you some food alright?" He said and I didn't answer.

"Do you want anything in specific?" I again didn't answer. "Ok... well, I'll just make you a sandwich, yeah?"

I watched him making the sandwich and I felt my lip tug slightly as he grabbed the dairy free butter over the normal one.

I sat and waited as Stiles made the sandwich, he put it on a plate and passed it to me, I looked up at him, I didn't say anything or smile but I said thank you with my eyes, I just hoped he caught on.

I took a bite of the sandwich and my stomach immediately rejected it and I hunched my back and brought my hand to my mouth just in case I had to throw up.

I could practically taste the bile in my throat and the tears in my eyes, I exhaled through my nose and swallowed the contents in my mouth before sitting up properly and sighing. Stiles put his hand on my back and at first he hesitated before he held it there comfortingly.

I finished the sandwich and stood up, I grabbed the plate and put it in the sink.

"Do you want me to make you something else?" Stiles asked.

"No.. I'm, uh, I'm ok, I'm kinda tired." I said.

I walked over into the living room and sat down on the sofa, I rested my elbow on the arm and rubbed my face with my hand.

My eyes felt heavy and my brain felt foggy so I rested my head on my arm and closed my eyes.