Take A Chance On Me ☆ [Mamma Mia - Bill Anderson X Reader]

☆43☆

As soon as you and Bill enter the hotel, you drop his hand and he looks at you with a sad puppydog expression. But your mind has already been made up: put your feelings on hold for your family. It's almost becoming a tradition now, this mindset.

"I'll be going back to my boat, then - I'll see you soon," he says, then turns away and quickly moves off before you can see his face. You notice a figure tottering off after him from the family house, peer closer, and recognize them as Rosie. You momentarily feel a twinge of jealousy before you remind yourself that nothing is set in stone, and take a deep breath then begin to organize the staff.

Halfway through repainting the aged white paint on the wedding cart, Sam comes up to you and asks where Donna is.
"Just follow the trail of loud noises." You point your paintbrush toward the square where you can hear Donna and Sophie bickering, then go back to work.

Sam hovers a bit before saying, "If you don't mind me asking, what happened between you and Bill?"

Immediately you whip around and stand up to meet his height, hands on hips. "What do you mean, what happened? Nothing happened."

"Well, clearly something did, by the way you two look at each other - like you're both the most beautiful looking ticking time bombs in the history of Greece," he comments. "He doesn't say anything, but whenever you're mentioned or seen, he gets all sad and dreamy, like a lovesick schoolboy. But then, when we met, he pretended he was someone else. So what happened?"

You sigh, even more so when you crouch back down to the cart and realise you sprayed paint over yourself when you put your hands on your hips - looks like you'll be taking time out of your busy day to have a shower you don't have time for.

"We used to know each other, around the same time you and Donna did. For a few weeks we were... well, I don't need to spell it out for you, clearly. You can work that bit out for yourself. But then... then..."

You gulp. By total accident, Sam has got you thinking about that last night 21 years ago with Bill. His confession, your breakdown, your embarkment on the biggest adventure you'd had in your life. So much of your life was kick-started from your boyfriend sleeping with your sister. How many people can say that?

Sam shouldn't have to know that Bill and Donna had sex ages ago, which may or may not have resulted in your niece's conception. You've blocked that knowledge from ever fully entering your mind; now it will never enter his.

"Then he cheated on me. So I left. I got in a rowboat and never looked back. The only thing of his I ever kept was this necklace."

You finger the amber stone given to you by the age-old tree spirits, remembering how Bill said to always keep it otherwise the spirits may curse you. Well, looks like you were already cursed, but for some reason you're still wearing it. You don't want to take it off. You don't want to properly think about why.

You continue to paint in the silence, Sam still hovering around you. Then, quietly but confidently, he says, "He's never said anything about you, not really, but I can tell he still feels guilty about it. And that he still loves you so, so much. I can see it in his face whenever you've walked past or talked to us. Trust me, I know these sorts of things; I-"

"You still love Donna; I know. I can see it in your face too. Just another guy besotted with my sister again."

Silence. Then: "Did Bill cheat on you with Donna?"

You whirl around and stand up again.
"Don't you dare bring that up to me. I have spent my whole life trying to forget that the man I am in love with slept with the one woman that I would never forgive him for cheating with. Do not make me remember that part of the past; you don't want me to let loose all the Pandora's box of secrets I have in this brain," you hiss, tapping your head with the paintbrush, again spraying white flecks over your yellow hair.

Sam steps back a little, looking uneasy.
"Hey, look, I'm sorry. It wasn't exactly easy for me hearing that just now either." His face contorts into a small frown, and you sigh. You shouldn't have been so mean. You know Donna has a magnetism that makes men fall for her to the point where they don't want to hear anything bad about her.
"I'm sorry Sam; I'm just stressed out right now; I've got all this wedding stuff to do, plus Bill-"

"What happened?" he enquires, concerned, and you sigh again.
"He told me he still loves me, but I'm scared to take him back. What if he hasn't changed?"

"Y/N, you haven't seen him in 21 years," Sam says to you, stepping forward and putting his hands on your arms to make you look up at him. "Whoever he used to be, loving you has made him into a better version than he was. Why else would he still adore you? You helped him."

You bite your lip. This is all so confusing: everyone is telling you to go for it, including your heart, but your head and your past life is screaming at you to get away, leave the island, leave him behind again.

But then who would you be - the same as he used to be?